by pattikeno
breaking into my silence
you steal away my soul
leaving me lonely and afraid
and out of control
aching I break
and fold in on myself
all alone I sink to
the floor
and still I ache
for more
kill me with your
words
swallow me with
your soul
swallow me whole
swallow
me
whole
.
.
.
03/28/03
©Patti Keno
to: the caterpillar boy
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2003 Patti Keno Poetry the caterpillar boy
by pattikeno
my words
I am the angry
PoEt
with fire in
her eyes
I am the silent
girl
blue hair
blowing madly
in the wind
I stand before
you ready to
attack
I am the angry
pOeT
and I am never
coming back
I am the silent girl
who claims
she’s from Detroit
and worked here
for four years
I am the angry
PoeT
who lies and lies
and lies
I am the angry
pOEt
and MY WORDS
WILL NEVER
DIE
01/12/01
©Patti Keno
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2001 Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
don’t
please don’t
I need this to
go my way
don’t ruin it
not now
I will not cry
I will not cry
I will not cry
.
stop
please stop
this isn’t how
this is supposed
to go
can’t you see
it’s killing me
I will not cry
I will not cry
I will not cry
.
wait
please wait
I didn’t mean
to make you
go
sometimes I’m
so me
I scare people
I WILL NOT CRY
I WILL NOT CRY
I WILL NOT CRY
but I
can’t
help
myself
.
and
I
cry
.
and
I
cry
.
.
10/25/15
©Patti Keno
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2015 New Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
watch me pound my
head against this
wall
the wall that
separates me
the wall that
shelters me
from the
real
from the
world
.
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
this fuse is
too wet to burn
properly
this heart is too
broken
this mind
too shattered
I can’t do this
I sabotage
myself every time
.
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
watch me
bleed
watch me break
and fall apart
I can’t do this
.
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
.
.
10/25/15
©Patti Keno
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2015 New Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
take it slow
one small triumph
at a time
baby steps
so no one will
see you fall
as you famously do
every time
you walk
.
close your eyes
just try to breathe
take it one step
at a time
baby steps
so no one will
see you trip
over your own
damn feet
.
like you
always do
.
like you
always do
.
baby steps
it will take
forever
but you’ll get
there
you’ll find
yourself at
the ledge
.
baby steps
to the edge
baby steps
you look down
baby steps
.
close your eyes
just try to breathe
as you jump
as you leap
a leap
of faith
why walk
when you were
meant to soar
.
.
11/14/15
©Patti Keno
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2015 New Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
I changed
myself to fit
you
and now I
cannot change
back
I shaped my
hips the
way you liked
them
and hid my
fangs so
I would
not bite
you
when we
kissed
I hid the
longing
deep, deep inside
afraid
that you
would
see my
heart and
run away
from
it
.
I changed
my tastes
so I wouldn’t
disgust
you
I changed
my name
so I wouldn’t
offend you
I changed
my face
and hair
to look
more like
her
in hopes
that
you could
love me
more
.
I changed
my clothes
so that
they would
reflect your
image
from every
angle
every side
every view
I hid my
likes so
you
wouldn’t
hate me
for my
opinion
I hid my
soul
so you
couldn’t
hurt me
for who I
was
.
I tried
to say
I loved
you
When I
hated all
you
made
me do
I changed
myself
to fit you
how can
I fit
anyone
else
.
I changed
the way
I looked
at you
so you
wouldn’t
see me
crying
I changed
the way
I touched
you so
I wouldn’t
hurt you
I changed
myself to
fit you
in everyway
I changed
.
I changed
my skin
so it would
accept your
touch
I changed
my knees
so they would
buckle
when you
pressed
against
my shoulder
.
I changed
the way
I looked
at life
so I could
live my
life for
you
I changed
my soul
to let you
in
I changed
my heart
to love you
.
I changed
myself
to fit
you
and you
left because
I wasn’t
me
I was
you
I changed
myself to
fit you
and now
I’m a
perfect
match
.
.
1/22/99
©Patti Keno
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1999 Patti Keno Poetry the silent boy
by pattikeno
i dreamt; i saw
i came; i went
i bled; i cried
i jumped; i screamed
i lived; i died
i loved; i cared
i ran; i played
i gave; i shared
i left; i went
i ripped; i tore
i killed; i mended
.
still it wasn’t enough
still i want more
.
i ran; i skipped
i drove; i rode
i flew; i walked
i ate; i drank
i tasted; i felt
i saw; i heard
I FELT
i sang; i ached
I laughed; i cried
.
but it wasn’t enough
I STILL WANT MORE
one more day and it’s over
I used to tell myself that
one more day and I’ll be gone
but i never could do it
I thought I could
.
i thought; i analyzed
i mixed; i mingled
i flirted; i teased
i floated; i breezed
i tantalized; i broke
i cut; i cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
icried
icry
icry
icry
cry cry
cry
.
but it’s never enough
i can’t do enough
i can’t see enough
i can’t feel enough
i can’t want enough
i can’t hear enough
i can’t taste enough
i can’t smell enough
i can’t go now
I can’t
I’m not finished yet
.
I’ve lived and loved
for a quarter of a century
and still it isn’t enough
I WANT MORE
I can’t go now
I can’t
.
.
11/26/01
©Patti Keno
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2001 Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
these words written
with pencils and
pens
and
keystrokes
are who I am
they are my life
these words written
with pencils
and
pens
and
keystrokes
no one will ever
read
no one will ever
see
the true me
the one that lives
within
the one who hides
within
these words
written with
pencils and
pens
and
keystrokes
no one will
ever see
me
.
.
10/10/15
©Patti Keno
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2015 New Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
empty hollow ache
washes over me again
empty hollow ache
fills me with dread again
.
I know where this leads
I know where this will take me
.
empty hollow ache
How much more of this can i take
empty hollow ache
how much more before i break
.
I try to push this away
I try to forget it all
.
empty hollow ache
mocking me
hounding me
taunting me
empty hollow ache
.
I know where this will lead me
I know which road to take
.
and so i go
for one more
sugar heartache
empty hollow ache
.
finally disappears
as i close my eyes
empty hollow ache
no more
until the morning
when i wake
.
I know where this leads me
I know where this takes me
.
empty hollow ache
.
5/9/01
©Patti Keno
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2001 Patti Keno Poetry the nocturnal boy
by pattikeno
hi
it’s me again
I’m here waiting
once again
for all the things
that I lack
and all the things
that I can never
get back
waiting
like I always do
waiting
for you
or him or her
or she or he
or it or this or that
how can I stand
to wait this long
and what made me think
that every thing
will eventually fall in my lap
does the world revolve around me
and me alone?
NO
then why and I still here
waiting
like I always do
what made me think
that everything I desire
will fall into my lap
what made me think
that anything and everything
would come here to me as I wait
.
oh yeah:
“Good things come to those who wait.”
.
and so I wait
waiting still
like I always do
and I watch my dreams
sail further away
while I wait
for those good things
to come to me
.
.
4/24/01
©Patti Keno
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2001 Patti Keno Poetry