Invisible No More

my love affair with words

find

I never thought

You’d find

me

lying here

resting

holding my head

against

the rain

against the

coming storm

shivering

violently

lost &

alone

I never thought

I’d find you

there

holding out

your arms

to take me

in and

hold me

like a doll

I never thought

I’d find

a peace

inside

a peace so

overwhelming

I never thought

I would

find

a kindred soul

in you

                                                                                    4/4/00

©Patti Keno

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You won’t be alone forever

The hollow of his hands

The smoothness of his nails

The soft flesh above his eyes

His strong arms around me

His texture; It’s all so real

And I miss it

I miss all of this

As I sit and contemplate

 the emptiness of my own arms

I long to feel him there

I long to see him; to touch his hair

I lived my whole life with

This longing for the man with no face

I’ve felt my head against his chest

I’ve felt his finger on my lips and in my mouth

I’ve stared into his ocean-deep eyes

But never once saw his face

Every morning I wake more exhausted

Then when I fell asleep

I’ve spend the entire night

Trying to convince him to come to me

Begging… pleading…

Longing for him to follow me as I slip through

The Dreaming and wake alone once more.

I cry each morning, holding myself

Soon there will be nothing left

Of me to hold on too

Soon there will be nothing left of me.

He told me last night…

“you won’t be alone forever.”

But this waiting is tearing me apart inside

This raw nerve that rips open anew

Each time I see another couple

Together

Another couple in love.

It tears me apart inside that I cannot be

That I cannot be in love

I can only be alone.

4/2/01

©Patti Keno

4 Comments »

I lost another one today

my heart broke again today
wanting and waiting and wasting away
Another moment lost
another tear to fall
he could have changed my life
he could have rocked my world
waiting and wanting and wasting away
lost once more on the sea
of yesterdays past
of people lost
moments gone
disappeared
they glare in front of me
making me ache
making my heart break
over and over again
i just want to hide
i just want to hide away
and lose myself
i just want to be lost
lost again
i don’t want to see
i don’t want to see
what i know I can NEVER have
what i know i can NEVER be
i don’t want to see
waiting and wanting and wasting away
i lost another one today
i lost another one today
whimper want or whisper stay
i lost another one today

.

 .

03/29/04
.

©Patti Keno

.

“whimper want or whisper stay” is a line by Shane Murphy

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into the flesh

i can feel you
burning your name
into the flesh
of my arm
even though you
do not know me
nor can you see me
as i stand watching you
i burn my name
into the flesh of
your arm
can you feel it?
burning; pulsating there
against your skin
and deep into the
hollow of your elbow
i can feel it
i can almost
read your name
i can almost feel you
there
holding me
as i cry out in pain
watching you as you
burn your name
into my flesh
into the tender flesh
of my arm


…when will i ever
get
to meet you

5/2/01

 ©Patti Keno

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