Invisible No More

The hollow of his hands

The smoothness of his nails

The soft flesh above his eyes

His strong arms around me

His texture; It’s all so real

And I miss it

I miss all of this

As I sit and contemplate

 the emptiness of my own arms

I long to feel him there

I long to see him; to touch his hair

I lived my whole life with

This longing for the man with no face

I’ve felt my head against his chest

I’ve felt his finger on my lips and in my mouth

I’ve stared into his ocean-deep eyes

But never once saw his face

Every morning I wake more exhausted

Then when I fell asleep

I’ve spend the entire night

Trying to convince him to come to me

Begging… pleading…

Longing for him to follow me as I slip through

The Dreaming and wake alone once more.

I cry each morning, holding myself

Soon there will be nothing left

Of me to hold on too

Soon there will be nothing left of me.

He told me last night…

“you won’t be alone forever.”

But this waiting is tearing me apart inside

This raw nerve that rips open anew

Each time I see another couple

Together

Another couple in love.

It tears me apart inside that I cannot be

That I cannot be in love

I can only be alone.

4/2/01

©Patti Keno