Invisible No More

my love affair with words

empty hollow ache

empty hollow ache

washes over me again

empty hollow ache

fills me with dread again

.

I know where this leads

I know where this will take me

.

empty hollow ache

How much more of this can i take

empty hollow ache

how much more before i break

.

I try to push this away

I try to forget it all

.

empty hollow ache

mocking me

hounding me

taunting me

empty hollow ache

.

I know where this will lead me

I know which road to take

.

and so i go

for one more

sugar heartache

empty hollow ache

.

finally disappears

as i close my eyes

empty hollow ache

no more

until the morning

when i wake

.

I know where this leads me

I know where this takes me

.

empty hollow ache

.

5/9/01

©Patti Keno

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in my dreams

When morning came

without you

once again

I did not cry

I did not scream

or beg

I accepted it

I know

I will never

meet you

and try as

I might

I know

I can never

hold you in

my arms

and wake

with you

still beside me

try as I might

I cannot

pull you

through

the velvet curtain

of the dreaming

and I know

I should be

contented

just to see

you in

my dreams

 

9/8/00

©Patti Keno

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You won’t be alone forever

The hollow of his hands

The smoothness of his nails

The soft flesh above his eyes

His strong arms around me

His texture; It’s all so real

And I miss it

I miss all of this

As I sit and contemplate

 the emptiness of my own arms

I long to feel him there

I long to see him; to touch his hair

I lived my whole life with

This longing for the man with no face

I’ve felt my head against his chest

I’ve felt his finger on my lips and in my mouth

I’ve stared into his ocean-deep eyes

But never once saw his face

Every morning I wake more exhausted

Then when I fell asleep

I’ve spend the entire night

Trying to convince him to come to me

Begging… pleading…

Longing for him to follow me as I slip through

The Dreaming and wake alone once more.

I cry each morning, holding myself

Soon there will be nothing left

Of me to hold on too

Soon there will be nothing left of me.

He told me last night…

“you won’t be alone forever.”

But this waiting is tearing me apart inside

This raw nerve that rips open anew

Each time I see another couple

Together

Another couple in love.

It tears me apart inside that I cannot be

That I cannot be in love

I can only be alone.

4/2/01

©Patti Keno

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