who is this
that I am
it is not me
speaking this way
walking this walk
living this life
loving this man
I’m not who you
think I am
I’m me
not this person
that you see
who is that
it isn’t me
brushing my hair
dressing my body
I am not there
you are not talking
to me
who is it?
oh my God…
.
it’s me
.
.
10/5/95
©Patti Keno
I am woman
my feminine display
is carefully hidden
it’s tucked away
fearing innocence lost
hidden forever
what is the cost?
losing myself?
I’m already lost
moving onward
so afraid
never knowing exactly
where my innocence
is laid
moving onward
moving fast
knowing my innocence
my false masculinity
will
never
last
.
.
.
6/6/96
©Patti Keno
time
is a wasted thing
it is a meaningless
thing
it surges forward
relentlessly
and drowns us
in its wake
it leaves us breathless
and broken
washed upon the
shore
in a different place
in a different time
where we learn to
adapt
we heal
and begin to
live again
only to be swept
away
once again
by unforgiving
and relentless
time
.
.
01/5/15
©Patti Keno
lost in the crowd
she moves on in silence
wondering who will see her
wondering who has the ability
to see the girl invisible to all
longing to be there
longing to be loved
she knows that she was never meant to be
maybe she was supposed to die
maybe no one will ever see her
maybe no one even cares
she opens her mouth and screams
and screams and screams
screaming she stands alone
she chased them all away
except for one boy
who is disappearing
a disappearing boy
he smiles at her as she stops her screaming
she smiles back her crooked smile
and finally realizes
she was never alone
she was
NEVER
ALONE
and there they still stand
hand in hand
the disappearing boy and the invisible girl
.
.
10/18/00
©Patti Keno
to ‘the disappearing boy’ who i met in the ‘Kick Out the Gloom’ chat room and had the most wonderful and poetic email friendship with. Sadly, we lost contact a few years back, but i miss him horribly. I miss his words.
Will Pez ever figure out what's real and what's all in his head? Available now on Amazon.com
Will Maggie ever find the man who stole her body and left her stranded in his? Available now on Amazon.com
 | pattikeno on folding inside of myself |
| pattikeno on starving |
 | Deanne on starving |
| pattikeno on Clown Shoes |
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