Invisible No More

my love affair with words

who is this?

who is this

that I am

it is not me

speaking this way

walking this walk

living this life

loving this man

I’m not who you

think I am

I’m me

not this person

that you see

who is that

it isn’t me

brushing my hair

dressing my body

I am not there

you are not talking

to me

who is it?

oh my God…

.

it’s me

.

.

10/5/95

©Patti Keno

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I’m not finished yet

i dreamt; i saw
i came; i went
i bled; i cried
i jumped; i screamed
i lived; i died
i loved; i cared
i ran; i played
i gave; i shared
i left; i went
i ripped; i tore
i killed; i mended
.
still it wasn’t enough
still i want more
.
i ran; i skipped
i drove; i rode
i flew; i walked
i ate; i drank
i tasted; i felt
i saw; i heard
I FELT
i sang; i ached
I laughed; i cried
.
but it wasn’t enough
I STILL WANT MORE
one more day and it’s over
I used to tell myself that
one more day and I’ll be gone
but i never could do it
I thought I could
.
i thought; i analyzed
i mixed; i mingled
i flirted; i teased
i floated; i breezed
i tantalized; i broke
i cut; i cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
icried
icry
icry
icry
cry cry
cry
.
but it’s never enough
i can’t do enough
i can’t see enough
i can’t feel enough
i can’t want enough
i can’t hear enough
i can’t taste enough
i can’t smell enough
i can’t go now
I can’t
I’m not finished yet
.
I’ve lived and loved
for a quarter of a century
and still it isn’t enough
I WANT MORE
I can’t go now
I can’t
.
.
11/26/01

©Patti Keno

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empty hollow ache

empty hollow ache

washes over me again

empty hollow ache

fills me with dread again

.

I know where this leads

I know where this will take me

.

empty hollow ache

How much more of this can i take

empty hollow ache

how much more before i break

.

I try to push this away

I try to forget it all

.

empty hollow ache

mocking me

hounding me

taunting me

empty hollow ache

.

I know where this will lead me

I know which road to take

.

and so i go

for one more

sugar heartache

empty hollow ache

.

finally disappears

as i close my eyes

empty hollow ache

no more

until the morning

when i wake

.

I know where this leads me

I know where this takes me

.

empty hollow ache

.

5/9/01

©Patti Keno

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waiting

hi

it’s me again

I’m here waiting

once again

for all the things

that I lack

and all the things

that I can never

get back

waiting

like I always do

waiting

for you

or him or her

or she or he

or it or this or that

how can I stand

to wait this long

and what made me think

that every thing

will eventually fall in my lap

does the world revolve around me

and me alone?

NO

then why and I still here

waiting

like I always do

what made me think

that everything I desire

will fall into my lap

what made me think

that anything and everything

would come here to me as I wait

.

oh yeah:

“Good things come to those who wait.”

.

and so I wait

waiting still

like I always do

and I watch my dreams

sail further away

while I wait

for those good things

to come to me

.

.

                                                                    4/24/01

                                                                      ©Patti Keno

 

 

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in my dreams

When morning came

without you

once again

I did not cry

I did not scream

or beg

I accepted it

I know

I will never

meet you

and try as

I might

I know

I can never

hold you in

my arms

and wake

with you

still beside me

try as I might

I cannot

pull you

through

the velvet curtain

of the dreaming

and I know

I should be

contented

just to see

you in

my dreams

 

9/8/00

©Patti Keno

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into the arms of madness

this

this grinning madness

sits before me

and eggs me into complacency

this grinning madness

waits

patient and impatient

all at once

It angers me

with it’s laughter

with it’s sullen glares

and sudden movements

this grinning madness

waits to take me in it’s arms

into the arms of madness

all around me i hear noises

people pushing me closer

forcing me towards that goal

that grinning golem

forgotten idol, left for dead

this grinning madness

laughs

and

laughs

and

laughs

as i stumble

and fall into it’s

open arms

forever lost

in this grinning madness

.

9/18/01

©Patti Keno

.

If you’re looking for a book to read check out my novels….

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=patti+keno&sprefix=Patti+Keno%2Caps%2C163

 

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the longing hand

the longing hand

reaches out

and closes around

my heart

the longing hand

searches me out

as I hide within

the crowd

pretending to be

normal

pretending to be

me

I can never

out run it

I can never

hide from it

the longing hand

will always

find me

the longing hand

will always be

closing around

my desperate

heart

I have resigned

myself to

accept my

fate

I’ve begun

to crave

it’s touch

the longing hand

so painful

the longing had

so harsh

so cruel

I crave the

restlessness

I crave the

sleepless nights

I long for the

longing hand

as it longs for

me

I long for

the longing hand

closing around

my heart

for it is only

in that moment

in that familiar

grasp

that I truly

feel alive

.

.

8/30/00

©Patti Keno

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and

eyes are burning

from the endless

nights

laying awake

 –

and waiting

I am filled

with desire

for something

unknown

 –

and unwanted

 –

I ache

alone

filled with

remorse

and regret

I long and

I long

with this

intense desire

and wanton lust

 –

I long for

something

anything

that can put out

this

fire

but I never

know what

it is I ache

for

 –

 –

                                                3/6/00

pik

©Patti Keno

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