Invisible No More

my love affair with words

My self-made prison cell

this ache inside

for something new

it never fades

it never ebbs

it always stays

deep inside of my

heart

.

love

such a useless emotion

it only leads to pain

I’ve been burnt before

and nothing will

ever burn me again

 .

I push them away

SCARE them away

before they get too close

I can’t let them in

I can’t let them near

I don’t want them

hurting like I did

 .

I feign the search for

the ebon eyes that haunt

me in my dreams

but the loss of

self keeps me from reaching out

I’m too afraid of losing

the self I worked so hard to build

the self I worked so hard to reclaim

I can’t let them in

I can’t let them in

Even if it means that I can never get out

I never want to lose myself in someone else again

.

so I go

forever feigning interest

pain and jealousy

filling my very being

maybe it’s envy

not jealousy that I feel

a secret wish to be normal

to be more like them

in their perfect bliss

.

a hand and a sigh

lips meeting

touching

kissing

a hand and a sigh

they continue

and never notice my tears

too lost in their own desires

to ever notice me fading

slipping away

into another world

my imaginary world

where all my dreams come true

and there is always someone there

to hold me

always someone there

to love me

in a love beyond love

in a love beyond sex

in a love beyond this world

a love that only I can give myself

.

once again his ebon eyes

behold me and I cringe

in their wake

he knows that I am a coward

he knows that I’ve been weak

he smiles

and once again whispers out

his catch phrase:

“It’s not your time”

and he takes me in his arms once more

if I can’t be with him now

then I can at least enjoy him in my dreams

 .

because the loss of

self keeps me from reaching out

I’m too afraid of losing

the self I worked so hard to build

the self I worked so hard to reclaim

I can’t let them in

I can’t let them in

even if it means That I can never get out

 .

I can never get out

I will always be

on the inside looking

out

 .

.

                                                          4/24/01

©Patti Keno

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I lost another one today

my heart broke again today
wanting and waiting and wasting away
Another moment lost
another tear to fall
he could have changed my life
he could have rocked my world
waiting and wanting and wasting away
lost once more on the sea
of yesterdays past
of people lost
moments gone
disappeared
they glare in front of me
making me ache
making my heart break
over and over again
i just want to hide
i just want to hide away
and lose myself
i just want to be lost
lost again
i don’t want to see
i don’t want to see
what i know I can NEVER have
what i know i can NEVER be
i don’t want to see
waiting and wanting and wasting away
i lost another one today
i lost another one today
whimper want or whisper stay
i lost another one today

.

 .

03/29/04
.

©Patti Keno

.

“whimper want or whisper stay” is a line by Shane Murphy

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the smile

It started with

a smile

a quick hello

an innocence

shared

an electricity

crackling

in their

eyes

 .

It started with

a smile

a simple caress

an innocent

kiss

a tender

word

full of

meaning

.

it started

with a smile

and lived

and entire lifetime

in the span

of a minute

as her imagination

built an entire

lifetime

of love

based on that

one smile

.

.

                                                3/17/00

                                                ©Patti Keno

.

to “the Man I always drop things in front of”

 

 

 

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Dismissed

Dismissing me
waiting in remittance
aching with
faux
despair
It’s all inside me
as I stand
before you
and listen
to your words
of shame
your words
of dismissal
dismissing me
as if i
meant
nothing to
you
and it is
in that
time of
Aching
dismay
that i have
come to realize
I meant
less to you
than you’ve
ever meant
to me

3.19.98

©Patti Keno

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A Murder of One by Patti Keno (me)

So it happened faster than i thought it would.  My book is now available in paperback and kindle at Amazon.com

 

http://www.amazon.com/Murder-One-Patti-Keno/dp/0692388338/ref=la_B00UB8EJJ4_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1425660411&sr=1-1

 

AMOO_lg

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Psst…..

Psst! The countdown has begun….
Are you ready?
The tentative release date is my birthday.
What? You don’t know my birthday.
What about the Ides of March?
Still don’t know?
OK fine… it’s March 15th.

'Psst! The countdown has begun....<br />
Are you ready?<br />
The tentative release date is my birthday.<br />
What? You don't know my birthday.<br />
What about the Ides of March?<br />
Still don't know?<br />
OK fine... it's March 15th.'
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Remember This? Wes Nile

A very informative article about a very obscure band.

I'm not stalking you.

The only known photograph of the band Wes Nile, 2003 The only known surviving photograph of the band Wes Nile, 2003

In January 2003, Wes Nile was the next big up and coming band. Everyone was talking about them. They made all the music industry magazines lists of “Up and Coming Bands to Watch” and “The Big Albums of 2003”.

Simon Cowell called them “Dreadful.”

Critics criticized Wes Nile for playing into the West Nile virus scare, which was at the height of its hysteria. Founder Wes Nile debunked critics by publicly showing his birth certificate, displaying his birth name as Westley P. Nile.  Of course, he had it tattooed onto his butt when he revealed it at the international press conference.

Other members of the band were Eas Nile and Dee Nile. Other members C. Nile and P. Nile rotated in and out of the band, depending on who was feuding with who.

In June, their debut album was…

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