if I lay down my head
and close my eyes
maybe I won’t have to do this
maybe I won’t have to go through with it
it’s so funny
so ridiculously funny
that I cry and cry because I don’t have love
but then when the opportunity presents itself
I want to run away from it
and all I want to do right now
is cry
and cry
I’m so nervous
I’m so scared
I’m so giddy
what’s gonna happen?
who knows?
what if he never shows?
what if I don’t?
I can’t breathe anymore
my throat is closing up
it’s ok
relax
you’ve made it this far
don’t turn back
this may be it
you’ll never know until you try
.
.
02/14/02
©Patti Keno
.
To: the cinnamon boy
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