self image | Invisible No More

my tower

by pattikeno

these words

my words

I say that I scream

them out

I say that I yell

them from the

mountain tops

but I don’t

I lied

what I really do

is hide

I hide away

in my tower

and write these

words

my words

on tiny pieces of

paper

tiny letters, tiny words

and then I fold

them

ever so gently

into cranes

tiny little origami

cranes

and I throw

them from my tower

in hopes that

they will fly

they are but paper

teeny tiny paper cranes

that pile around

the base of my tower

the base of my home

I have to find

a way

to make them

fly

I have to

stop

hiding in

this tower

and I have

to fly

have to

fly

05/28/16

©Patti Keno

2016 New Patti Keno Poetry Uncategorized

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insignificant me

by pattikeno

I feel so small

so insignificant

a speck

that you will

never see

nor will you

ever hear

the heart that

beats within

i try to speak

but my words

get lost

in this crowd

the crowd that

surrounds me

and shrinks

to nothing

makes me

feel small

and insignificant

shrinks me

nothing

insignificant

subatomic

lost in this

crowd

forever

lost

10/12/15

©Patti Keno

2015 Patti Keno Poetry

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who is this?

by pattikeno

who is this

that I am

it is not me

speaking this way

walking this walk

living this life

loving this man

I’m not who you

think I am

I’m me

not this person

that you see

who is that

it isn’t me

brushing my hair

dressing my body

I am not there

you are not talking

to me

who is it?

oh my God…

it’s me

10/5/95

©Patti Keno

1995 Patti Keno Poetry the silent boy

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gender

by pattikeno

I am woman

my feminine display

is carefully hidden

it’s tucked away

fearing innocence lost

hidden forever

what is the cost?

losing myself?

I’m already lost

moving onward

so afraid

never knowing exactly

where my innocence

is laid

moving onward

moving fast

knowing my innocence

my false masculinity

will

never

last

6/6/96

©Patti Keno

1996 Patti Keno Poetry

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about

by pattikeno

It’s tooth and bone

and grinding nails

and lollipops

and puppy dog tails

It’s blood and blades

and scratches and

cuts

It’s tooth and nail

and tearing flesh;

rending flesh

it’s all about the past

the present

and the

future

that was never

meant

to be

It’s all about tooth and bone

and grinding nails

It’s all about

ME!

5/21/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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my words

by pattikeno

my words

I am the angry

PoEt

with fire in

her eyes

I am the silent

girl

blue hair

blowing madly

in the wind

I stand before

you ready to

attack

I am the angry

pOeT

and I am never

coming back

I am the silent girl

who claims

she’s from Detroit

and worked here

for four years

I am the angry

PoeT

who lies and lies

and lies

I am the angry

pOEt

and MY WORDS

WILL NEVER
DIE

01/12/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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please don’t

by pattikeno

don’t

please don’t

I need this to

go my way

don’t ruin it

not now

I will not cry

stop

please stop

this isn’t how

this is supposed

to go

can’t you see

it’s killing me

I will not cry

wait

please wait

I didn’t mean

to make you

sometimes I’m

so me

I scare people

I WILL NOT CRY

but I

can’t

help

myself

and

cry

and

cry

10/25/15

©Patti Keno

2015 New Patti Keno Poetry

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Success is not an option

by pattikeno

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

watch me pound my

head against this

wall

the wall that

separates me

the wall that

shelters me

from the

real

from the

world

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

this fuse is

too wet to burn

properly

this heart is too

broken

this mind

too shattered

I can’t do this

I sabotage

myself every time

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

watch me

bleed

watch me break

and fall apart

I can’t do this

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

10/25/15

©Patti Keno

2015 New Patti Keno Poetry

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changed

by pattikeno

I changed

myself to fit

you

and now I

cannot change

back

I shaped my

hips the

way you liked

them

and hid my

fangs so

I would

not bite

you

when we

kissed

I hid the

longing

deep, deep inside

afraid

that you

would

see my

heart and

run away

from

I changed

my tastes

so I wouldn’t

disgust

you

I changed

my name

so I wouldn’t

offend you

I changed

my face

and hair

to look

more like

her

in hopes

that

you could

love me

I changed

my clothes

so that

they would

reflect your

image

from every

angle

every side

every view

I hid my

likes so

you

wouldn’t

hate me

for my

opinion

I hid my

soul

so you

couldn’t

hurt me

for who I

was

I tried

to say

I loved

you

When I

hated all

you

made

me do

I changed

myself

to fit you

how can

I fit

anyone

else

I changed

the way

I looked

at you

so you

wouldn’t

see me

crying

I changed

the way

I touched

you so

I wouldn’t

hurt you

I changed

myself to

fit you

in everyway

I changed

my skin

so it would

accept your

touch

I changed

my knees

so they would

buckle

when you

pressed

against

my shoulder

I changed

the way

I looked

at life

so I could

live my

life for

you

I changed

my soul

to let you

I changed

my heart

to love you

I changed

myself

to fit

you

and you

left because

I wasn’t

I was

you

I changed

myself to

fit you

and now

I’m a

perfect

match

1/22/99

©Patti Keno

1999 Patti Keno Poetry the silent boy

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i dreamt; i saw
i came; i went
i bled; i cried
i jumped; i screamed
i lived; i died
i loved; i cared
i ran; i played
i gave; i shared
i left; i went
i ripped; i tore
i killed; i mended
.
still it wasn’t enough
still i want more
.
i ran; i skipped
i drove; i rode
i flew; i walked
i ate; i drank
i tasted; i felt
i saw; i heard
I FELT
i sang; i ached
I laughed; i cried
.
but it wasn’t enough
I STILL WANT MORE
one more day and it’s over
I used to tell myself that
one more day and I’ll be gone
but i never could do it
I thought I could
.
i thought; i analyzed
i mixed; i mingled
i flirted; i teased
i floated; i breezed
i tantalized; i broke
i cut; i cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
icried
icry
icry
icry
cry cry
cry
.
but it’s never enough
i can’t do enough
i can’t see enough
i can’t feel enough
i can’t want enough
i can’t hear enough
i can’t taste enough
i can’t smell enough
i can’t go now
I can’t
I’m not finished yet
.
I’ve lived and loved
for a quarter of a century
and still it isn’t enough
I WANT MORE
I can’t go now
I can’t
.
.
11/26/01