I changed
myself to fit
you
and now I
cannot change
back
I shaped my
hips the
way you liked
them
and hid my
fangs so
I would
not bite
you
when we
kissed
I hid the
longing
deep, deep inside
afraid
that you
would
see my
heart and
run away
from
it
.
I changed
my tastes
so I wouldn’t
disgust
you
I changed
my name
so I wouldn’t
offend you
I changed
my face
and hair
to look
more like
her
in hopes
that
you could
love me
more
.
I changed
my clothes
so that
they would
reflect your
image
from every
angle
every side
every view
I hid my
likes so
you
wouldn’t
hate me
for my
opinion
I hid my
soul
so you
couldn’t
hurt me
for who I
was
.
I tried
to say
I loved
you
When I
hated all
you
made
me do
I changed
myself
to fit you
how can
I fit
anyone
else
.
I changed
the way
I looked
at you
so you
wouldn’t
see me
crying
I changed
the way
I touched
you so
I wouldn’t
hurt you
I changed
myself to
fit you
in everyway
I changed
.
I changed
my skin
so it would
accept your
touch
I changed
my knees
so they would
buckle
when you
pressed
against
my shoulder
.
I changed
the way
I looked
at life
so I could
live my
life for
you
I changed
my soul
to let you
in
I changed
my heart
to love you
.
I changed
myself
to fit
you
and you
left because
I wasn’t
me
I was
you
I changed
myself to
fit you
and now
I’m a
perfect
match
.
.
1/22/99
©Patti Keno
lost in the crowd
she moves on in silence
wondering who will see her
wondering who has the ability
to see the girl invisible to all
longing to be there
longing to be loved
she knows that she was never meant to be
maybe she was supposed to die
maybe no one will ever see her
maybe no one even cares
she opens her mouth and screams
and screams and screams
screaming she stands alone
she chased them all away
except for one boy
who is disappearing
a disappearing boy
he smiles at her as she stops her screaming
she smiles back her crooked smile
and finally realizes
she was never alone
she was
NEVER
ALONE
and there they still stand
hand in hand
the disappearing boy and the invisible girl
.
.
10/18/00
©Patti Keno
to ‘the disappearing boy’ who i met in the ‘Kick Out the Gloom’ chat room and had the most wonderful and poetic email friendship with. Sadly, we lost contact a few years back, but i miss him horribly. I miss his words.
i miss you
my disappearing
boy
my mysterious
stranger
the other
half
to my
whole
i miss your
words
their shimmering
silence
leaves a gaping
wound
i ache for you
even though
we never
met
my disappearing
boy
why did you
disappear?
.
1/3/15
©Patti Keno
To:SMM
can’t you see
i feel
what you feel
i ache
how you ache
it’s who
i am
i am an
echo
i repeat back
every thought
every feeling
every
lie
my heart beats
singularly
alone
but my feelings
are not
my own
all i am
is an
echo
of all
that
you
are
–
–
1/5/15
pik
©Patti Keno
Will Pez ever figure out what's real and what's all in his head? Available now on Amazon.com
Will Maggie ever find the man who stole her body and left her stranded in his? Available now on Amazon.com
 | pattikeno on folding inside of myself |
| pattikeno on starving |
 | Deanne on starving |
| pattikeno on Clown Shoes |
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