and | Invisible No More

folding inside of myself

by pattikeno

i just want to be alone today

i just want to take it slow today

i want to fold in upon myself

i want to disappear

i don’t want this anymore

can’t you make it go away

i just want to cry today

i just want to scream today

all this aching is breaking me apart

inside

and i don’t want this anymore

can’t you see

i don’t want to be

the one who is left behind

the one who is all alone

I don’t want this anymore

can’t you take it away from me

but this is how it always is

and this is how it always will be

me waiting

waiting

for somebody to love me

for

somebody

to love

and

leave me

not

alone

8/12/02

©Patti Keno

2002 Patti Keno Poetry

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my words

by pattikeno

my words

I am the angry

PoEt

with fire in

her eyes

I am the silent

girl

blue hair

blowing madly

in the wind

I stand before

you ready to

attack

I am the angry

pOeT

and I am never

coming back

I am the silent girl

who claims

she’s from Detroit

and worked here

for four years

I am the angry

PoeT

who lies and lies

and lies

I am the angry

pOEt

and MY WORDS

WILL NEVER
DIE

01/12/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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i dreamt; i saw
i came; i went
i bled; i cried
i jumped; i screamed
i lived; i died
i loved; i cared
i ran; i played
i gave; i shared
i left; i went
i ripped; i tore
i killed; i mended
.
still it wasn’t enough
still i want more
.
i ran; i skipped
i drove; i rode
i flew; i walked
i ate; i drank
i tasted; i felt
i saw; i heard
I FELT
i sang; i ached
I laughed; i cried
.
but it wasn’t enough
I STILL WANT MORE
one more day and it’s over
I used to tell myself that
one more day and I’ll be gone
but i never could do it
I thought I could
.
i thought; i analyzed
i mixed; i mingled
i flirted; i teased
i floated; i breezed
i tantalized; i broke
i cut; i cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
icried
icry
icry
icry
cry cry
cry
.
but it’s never enough
i can’t do enough
i can’t see enough
i can’t feel enough
i can’t want enough
i can’t hear enough
i can’t taste enough
i can’t smell enough
i can’t go now
I can’t
I’m not finished yet
.
I’ve lived and loved
for a quarter of a century
and still it isn’t enough
I WANT MORE
I can’t go now
I can’t
.
.
11/26/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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kick out the gloom

by pattikeno

lost in the crowd

she moves on in silence

wondering who will see her

wondering who has the ability

to see the girl invisible to all

longing to be there

longing to be loved

she knows that she was never meant to be

maybe she was supposed to die

maybe no one will ever see her

maybe no one even cares

she opens her mouth and screams

and screams and screams

screaming she stands alone

she chased them all away

except for one boy

who is disappearing

a disappearing boy

he smiles at her as she stops her screaming

she smiles back her crooked smile

and finally realizes

she was never alone

she was

NEVER

ALONE

and there they still stand

hand in hand

the disappearing boy and the invisible girl

10/18/00

©Patti Keno

to ‘the disappearing boy’ who i met in the ‘Kick Out the Gloom’ chat room and had the most wonderful and poetic email friendship with. Sadly, we lost contact a few years back, but i miss him horribly. I miss his words.

2000 Patti Keno Poetry the disappearing boy

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your arms

by pattikeno

I remember the nights

we spent awake

you held me in your arms

I remember thinking

“this is all I ever wanted”

“this is all I could have hoped for”

I remember snuggling deep

within your warmth

I remember the emptiness I felt

when you left

and I realize now

it’s your arms I miss the most

your strength and protection

your warmth

I don’t miss you

anymore

I only miss what we knew

those beautiful nights

we spent alone

holding each other

I miss your arms

I miss you holding me,

but I no longer miss you.

8/23/00

©Patti Keno

2000 Patti Keno Poetry the silent boy

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ghost

by pattikeno

I’m screaming

as loud as my

aching throat

will allow

please see me

why can’t anyone

see me

maybe I’m not

invisible

maybe I’m a

ghost

maybe I don’t

exist

maybe I’m real

maybe I am

and nobody

cares

NOBODY

CARES!

No one wants to touch me

who would dare

to try and touch

the girl who is not there

I don’t exist

I am not real

I am not here

If I was

you’d see me

If I was

I wouldn’t

so alone

I wouldn’t

be so

utterly

alone

and

lost

left behind

lost

and

left

behind

I am

ghost

how else

would

you

explain

my words

that fall

constantly

deaf

ears

I don’t

exist

I don’t

8/21/15

©Patti Keno

2015 New Patti Keno Poetry writing

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A Murder of One by Patti Keno (me)

by pattikeno

So it happened faster than i thought it would. My book is now available in paperback and kindle at Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/Murder-One-Patti-Keno/dp/0692388338/ref=la_B00UB8EJJ4_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1425660411&sr=1-1

2015 book New writing

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Flowers

by pattikeno

Flowers on the floor

Flowers on the wall

Flowers fill my life

But I love them all

Flowers up and flowers down

Flowers all around

They’re all so pretty and never dull

Because they’re all beautiful

Tulips, daffodils and tiger lilies

I know it sounds silly

But they are all so pretty!

Carnations, Roses and Mums

I know it sounds dumb

But flowers are so beautiful

In all their ways

1986

©Patti Keno

I wrote this poem when i was 10 years old, back when i thought all poems had to rhyme. It’s not my first poem, but it’s one of my firsts. I remember when i wrote it I was inspired by my wall paper. check out the picture it was very 70s. The picture was taken before i started writing poetry though. ( i think that is when i was writing plays for my stuffed animals to perform. I wish i had some of those, but i think they are all lost.)

1986 Baby Me Poetry

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the longing hand

by pattikeno

the longing hand

reaches out

and closes around

my heart

the longing hand

searches me out

as I hide within

the crowd

pretending to be

normal

pretending to be

I can never

out run it

I can never

hide from it

the longing hand

will always

find me

the longing hand

will always be

closing around

my desperate

heart

I have resigned

myself to

accept my

fate

I’ve begun

to crave

it’s touch

the longing hand

so painful

the longing had

so harsh

so cruel

I crave the

restlessness

I crave the

sleepless nights

I long for the

longing hand

as it longs for

I long for

the longing hand

closing around

my heart

for it is only

in that moment

in that familiar

grasp

that I truly

feel alive

8/30/00

©Patti Keno

2000 Poetry the longing hand

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and you are…

by pattikeno

and you are moving too fast
you silence my heart
from crying out
and you are moving too hard
I can’t feel my feet
the night is so cold
and you are breaking me down
bending me in two
swallowing my heart
and you are taking it all away
leaving me with nothing
I’m not ready to be alone
and you are leaving me again
the same as before
just like everyone
just like
everyone
and you are leaving without
a single word
you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone