ache | Invisible No More

who is this?

by pattikeno

who is this

that I am

it is not me

speaking this way

walking this walk

living this life

loving this man

I’m not who you

think I am

I’m me

not this person

that you see

who is that

it isn’t me

brushing my hair

dressing my body

I am not there

you are not talking

to me

who is it?

oh my God…

it’s me

10/5/95

©Patti Keno

1995 Patti Keno Poetry the silent boy

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folding inside of myself

by pattikeno

i just want to be alone today

i just want to take it slow today

i want to fold in upon myself

i want to disappear

i don’t want this anymore

can’t you make it go away

i just want to cry today

i just want to scream today

all this aching is breaking me apart

inside

and i don’t want this anymore

can’t you see

i don’t want to be

the one who is left behind

the one who is all alone

I don’t want this anymore

can’t you take it away from me

but this is how it always is

and this is how it always will be

me waiting

waiting

for somebody to love me

for

somebody

to love

and

leave me

not

alone

8/12/02

©Patti Keno

2002 Patti Keno Poetry

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only

by pattikeno

leave me bleed

and send me quake

only how I ache

only how

ache

tear me asunder

and bring on the rain

only how I ache

only how

ache

twitch me sorrow

and ignite my flame

only how I ache

only how

ache

only

how

ache

how

only

01/23/15

©Patti Keno

2015 Patti Keno Poetry

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about

by pattikeno

It’s tooth and bone

and grinding nails

and lollipops

and puppy dog tails

It’s blood and blades

and scratches and

cuts

It’s tooth and nail

and tearing flesh;

rending flesh

it’s all about the past

the present

and the

future

that was never

meant

to be

It’s all about tooth and bone

and grinding nails

It’s all about

ME!

5/21/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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swallow me

by pattikeno

breaking into my silence

you steal away my soul

leaving me lonely and afraid

and out of control

aching I break

and fold in on myself

all alone I sink to

the floor

and still I ache

for more

kill me with your

words

swallow me with

your soul

swallow me whole

swallow

whole

03/28/03

©Patti Keno

to: the caterpillar boy

2003 Patti Keno Poetry the caterpillar boy

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my words

by pattikeno

my words

I am the angry

PoEt

with fire in

her eyes

I am the silent

girl

blue hair

blowing madly

in the wind

I stand before

you ready to

attack

I am the angry

pOeT

and I am never

coming back

I am the silent girl

who claims

she’s from Detroit

and worked here

for four years

I am the angry

PoeT

who lies and lies

and lies

I am the angry

pOEt

and MY WORDS

WILL NEVER
DIE

01/12/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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please don’t

by pattikeno

don’t

please don’t

I need this to

go my way

don’t ruin it

not now

I will not cry

stop

please stop

this isn’t how

this is supposed

to go

can’t you see

it’s killing me

I will not cry

wait

please wait

I didn’t mean

to make you

sometimes I’m

so me

I scare people

I WILL NOT CRY

but I

can’t

help

myself

and

cry

and

cry

10/25/15

©Patti Keno

2015 New Patti Keno Poetry

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Success is not an option

by pattikeno

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

watch me pound my

head against this

wall

the wall that

separates me

the wall that

shelters me

from the

real

from the

world

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

this fuse is

too wet to burn

properly

this heart is too

broken

this mind

too shattered

I can’t do this

I sabotage

myself every time

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

watch me

bleed

watch me break

and fall apart

I can’t do this

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

10/25/15

©Patti Keno

2015 New Patti Keno Poetry

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i dreamt; i saw
i came; i went
i bled; i cried
i jumped; i screamed
i lived; i died
i loved; i cared
i ran; i played
i gave; i shared
i left; i went
i ripped; i tore
i killed; i mended
.
still it wasn’t enough
still i want more
.
i ran; i skipped
i drove; i rode
i flew; i walked
i ate; i drank
i tasted; i felt
i saw; i heard
I FELT
i sang; i ached
I laughed; i cried
.
but it wasn’t enough
I STILL WANT MORE
one more day and it’s over
I used to tell myself that
one more day and I’ll be gone
but i never could do it
I thought I could
.
i thought; i analyzed
i mixed; i mingled
i flirted; i teased
i floated; i breezed
i tantalized; i broke
i cut; i cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
icried
icry
icry
icry
cry cry
cry
.
but it’s never enough
i can’t do enough
i can’t see enough
i can’t feel enough
i can’t want enough
i can’t hear enough
i can’t taste enough
i can’t smell enough
i can’t go now
I can’t
I’m not finished yet
.
I’ve lived and loved
for a quarter of a century
and still it isn’t enough
I WANT MORE
I can’t go now
I can’t
.
.
11/26/01