Invisible No More

my love affair with words

waiting

hi

it’s me again

I’m here waiting

once again

for all the things

that I lack

and all the things

that I can never

get back

waiting

like I always do

waiting

for you

or him or her

or she or he

or it or this or that

how can I stand

to wait this long

and what made me think

that every thing

will eventually fall in my lap

does the world revolve around me

and me alone?

NO

then why and I still here

waiting

like I always do

what made me think

that everything I desire

will fall into my lap

what made me think

that anything and everything

would come here to me as I wait

.

oh yeah:

“Good things come to those who wait.”

.

and so I wait

waiting still

like I always do

and I watch my dreams

sail further away

while I wait

for those good things

to come to me

.

.

                                                                    4/24/01

                                                                      ©Patti Keno

 

 

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kick out the gloom

lost in the crowd

she moves on in silence

wondering who will see her

wondering who has the ability

to see the girl invisible to all

longing to be there

longing to be loved

she knows that she was never meant to be

maybe she was supposed to die

maybe no one will ever see her

maybe no one even cares

she opens her mouth and screams

and screams and screams

screaming she stands alone

she chased them all away

except for one boy

who is disappearing

a disappearing boy

he smiles at her as she stops her screaming

she smiles back her crooked smile

and finally realizes

she was never alone

she was

NEVER

ALONE

and there they still stand

hand in hand

the disappearing boy and the invisible girl

.

.

10/18/00

©Patti Keno

 to ‘the disappearing boy’ who i met in the ‘Kick Out the Gloom’ chat room and had the most wonderful and poetic email friendship with. Sadly, we lost contact a few years back, but i miss him horribly. I miss his words.

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in my dreams

When morning came

without you

once again

I did not cry

I did not scream

or beg

I accepted it

I know

I will never

meet you

and try as

I might

I know

I can never

hold you in

my arms

and wake

with you

still beside me

try as I might

I cannot

pull you

through

the velvet curtain

of the dreaming

and I know

I should be

contented

just to see

you in

my dreams

 

9/8/00

©Patti Keno

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last month

last month never happened

i need to go back and fix it

i missed a whole month while sleeping

the days just seemed to slip away

they broke against the shore

and i never saw them again

last month crashed and sank into the ocean

just like my heart

it was left behind

and now i’ll never know

and nothing will ever show

all that i have missed

in that one missing month

last month has disappeared again

just like they always do

until i’m back here again

wondering what i did last month

.

.

9/5/01

©Patti Keno

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Swing

If only I could close

my eyes

and see your face

again

If only I could call

your name

and feel your touch

once more

If only I could have

 known then

how much I would

miss you

how much I would

ache for you

Ache for the sound

of your voice

forever gone

If only I could

remember your touch

If only I could

remember anything

past the beginning

and before the end

If only I could

 remember

anything at all

If only I could

remember

you

and love you

then

like I love you

now

.

.

8/1/00

©Patti Keno

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your arms

I remember the nights

we spent awake

you held me in your arms

I remember thinking

“this is all I ever wanted”

“this is all I could have hoped for”

I remember snuggling deep

within your warmth

I remember the emptiness I felt

when you left

and I realize now

it’s your arms I miss the most

your strength and protection

your warmth

I don’t miss you

anymore

I only miss what we knew

those beautiful nights

we spent alone

holding each other

I miss your arms

I miss you holding me,

but I no longer miss you.

.

.

                                                                                    8/23/00

©Patti Keno

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silently disappear

my love

how can you destroy

me so?

how can you let me

go?

and leave me here

in silence

how can you decide

to never speak

again

not a whim

not a whisper

of the way your

heart had turned

and I am left

here in silence

lying to myself

forcing myself to

believe that

it doesn’t hurt me

that it doesn’t make

me cry

you were my everything

and you never said goodbye

how could you destroy

me so?

.

.

                                    09/25/02

                      ©Patti Keno

 

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Last Year’s Night

Oh the sweet caress
of last year’s dress
as it swirls and falls around my hips
a voice and a note
and we’re dancing again
just like last year
just like back then
one hand on my hip
and the other pressed to my neck
pulling me in
pulling me in
to feel last year’s kiss once more
Oh the sweet caress
of last years dress
as we live this day out once more
the satin sweet swirl
as you spin me around
spinning and spinning
until we fall to the ground
laughing and laughing
we lay
side by side
on last year’s soil
on last year’s earth
quietly you whisper
last year’s promises in my ear
quietly you whisper
words of forever love
“I’ll never leave you again”
you whisper
“never leave me again”
my response
and we twirl and we swirl
together as one
once more on last year’s night
Oh the sweet caress
of last year’s dress
as it’s satin falls around my hips
you caress me once more and kiss my lips
“See you next year.” you say
and wave a little goodbye
“next year” I whisper
in last year’s reply
“next year” I repeat
as you disappear
into last year’s morning light
.

.
11/2/01

©Patti Keno

If you’re looking for a book to read check out my novels….

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=patti+keno&sprefix=Patti+Keno%2Caps%2C163

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into the arms of madness

this

this grinning madness

sits before me

and eggs me into complacency

this grinning madness

waits

patient and impatient

all at once

It angers me

with it’s laughter

with it’s sullen glares

and sudden movements

this grinning madness

waits to take me in it’s arms

into the arms of madness

all around me i hear noises

people pushing me closer

forcing me towards that goal

that grinning golem

forgotten idol, left for dead

this grinning madness

laughs

and

laughs

and

laughs

as i stumble

and fall into it’s

open arms

forever lost

in this grinning madness

.

9/18/01

©Patti Keno

.

If you’re looking for a book to read check out my novels….

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=patti+keno&sprefix=Patti+Keno%2Caps%2C163

 

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turn and run

turn your head

when I arrive

make like you

don’t see

why would you

want to see

little old me

why would you

want to

behold my face

turn away

scoff at my words

feign interest

then turn and

run

TURN

AND

RUN

I have nothing

of interest

nothing you want

to hear

I’m a broken soul

lost and afraid

no one wants

to see that

no one wants

to know

no one wants

what I’m giving

away for

free

no one

wants

ME

sinking in

to this old

familiar ache

I cry

and I wail

yet still you turn

tail

TURN

AND

RUN

I’m no good

I’m no fun

There’s nothing

to see

here

there’s no

reason to be

here

TURN

AND

RUN

It’s all they

ever do

TURN

AND

RUN
why should you

be any different

.

.

8/21/15

©Patti Keno

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