by pattikeno
“I know what you’re
hungry for”
he says
with blood-shot eyes
and yellowed teeth
he stands before me
waiting
holding out a pen
“I know what you’re
hungry for”
he says
he wants me to begin
but he pulls the pen away
and I am left
to ache once
again
for the words
that never come
for the silence
that never goes
“Insomniac!”
he accuses and
laughs in my face
but still I cannot get close
I cannot begin
he waits for me
to stop him
he waits for
me to yell
but I am
alone and
voiceless
here in my
self-appointed hell
“heretic!”
he calls me
he knows that
I’m insane
he knows that
writing is
all I have
to ease this
precious
pain
still he does not
give up
still he does not
give in
when will he
ever let me
begin
01/24/00
©Patti Keno
2000 Patti Keno Poetry writing
by pattikeno
breaking into my silence
you steal away my soul
leaving me lonely and afraid
and out of control
aching I break
and fold in on myself
all alone I sink to
the floor
and still I ache
for more
kill me with your
words
swallow me with
your soul
swallow me whole
swallow
me
whole
.
.
.
03/28/03
©Patti Keno
to: the caterpillar boy
2003 Patti Keno Poetry the caterpillar boy
by pattikeno
my words
I am the angry
PoEt
with fire in
her eyes
I am the silent
girl
blue hair
blowing madly
in the wind
I stand before
you ready to
attack
I am the angry
pOeT
and I am never
coming back
I am the silent girl
who claims
she’s from Detroit
and worked here
for four years
I am the angry
PoeT
who lies and lies
and lies
I am the angry
pOEt
and MY WORDS
WILL NEVER
DIE
01/12/01
©Patti Keno
2001 Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
don’t
please don’t
I need this to
go my way
don’t ruin it
not now
I will not cry
I will not cry
I will not cry
.
stop
please stop
this isn’t how
this is supposed
to go
can’t you see
it’s killing me
I will not cry
I will not cry
I will not cry
.
wait
please wait
I didn’t mean
to make you
go
sometimes I’m
so me
I scare people
I WILL NOT CRY
I WILL NOT CRY
I WILL NOT CRY
but I
can’t
help
myself
.
and
I
cry
.
and
I
cry
.
.
10/25/15
©Patti Keno
2015 New Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
watch me pound my
head against this
wall
the wall that
separates me
the wall that
shelters me
from the
real
from the
world
.
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
this fuse is
too wet to burn
properly
this heart is too
broken
this mind
too shattered
I can’t do this
I sabotage
myself every time
.
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
watch me
bleed
watch me break
and fall apart
I can’t do this
.
just watch me glow
watch me spark
and fizzle out
.
.
10/25/15
©Patti Keno
2015 New Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
i dreamt; i saw
i came; i went
i bled; i cried
i jumped; i screamed
i lived; i died
i loved; i cared
i ran; i played
i gave; i shared
i left; i went
i ripped; i tore
i killed; i mended
.
still it wasn’t enough
still i want more
.
i ran; i skipped
i drove; i rode
i flew; i walked
i ate; i drank
i tasted; i felt
i saw; i heard
I FELT
i sang; i ached
I laughed; i cried
.
but it wasn’t enough
I STILL WANT MORE
one more day and it’s over
I used to tell myself that
one more day and I’ll be gone
but i never could do it
I thought I could
.
i thought; i analyzed
i mixed; i mingled
i flirted; i teased
i floated; i breezed
i tantalized; i broke
i cut; i cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
icried
icry
icry
icry
cry cry
cry
.
but it’s never enough
i can’t do enough
i can’t see enough
i can’t feel enough
i can’t want enough
i can’t hear enough
i can’t taste enough
i can’t smell enough
i can’t go now
I can’t
I’m not finished yet
.
I’ve lived and loved
for a quarter of a century
and still it isn’t enough
I WANT MORE
I can’t go now
I can’t
.
.
11/26/01
©Patti Keno
2001 Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
empty hollow ache
washes over me again
empty hollow ache
fills me with dread again
.
I know where this leads
I know where this will take me
.
empty hollow ache
How much more of this can i take
empty hollow ache
how much more before i break
.
I try to push this away
I try to forget it all
.
empty hollow ache
mocking me
hounding me
taunting me
empty hollow ache
.
I know where this will lead me
I know which road to take
.
and so i go
for one more
sugar heartache
empty hollow ache
.
finally disappears
as i close my eyes
empty hollow ache
no more
until the morning
when i wake
.
I know where this leads me
I know where this takes me
.
empty hollow ache
.
5/9/01
©Patti Keno
2001 Patti Keno Poetry the nocturnal boy
by pattikeno
hi
it’s me again
I’m here waiting
once again
for all the things
that I lack
and all the things
that I can never
get back
waiting
like I always do
waiting
for you
or him or her
or she or he
or it or this or that
how can I stand
to wait this long
and what made me think
that every thing
will eventually fall in my lap
does the world revolve around me
and me alone?
NO
then why and I still here
waiting
like I always do
what made me think
that everything I desire
will fall into my lap
what made me think
that anything and everything
would come here to me as I wait
.
oh yeah:
“Good things come to those who wait.”
.
and so I wait
waiting still
like I always do
and I watch my dreams
sail further away
while I wait
for those good things
to come to me
.
.
4/24/01
©Patti Keno
2001 Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
When morning came
without you
once again
I did not cry
I did not scream
or beg
I accepted it
I know
I will never
meet you
and try as
I might
I know
I can never
hold you in
my arms
and wake
with you
still beside me
try as I might
I cannot
pull you
through
the velvet curtain
of the dreaming
and I know
I should be
contented
just to see
you in
my dreams
9/8/00
©Patti Keno
2000 the nocturnal boy
by pattikeno
today i can feel you
i can smell you
your sweet cinnamon scent
i can taste you
taste the essence of you
with every bite
the smell of you
the taste of you
the touch of you
breaking through
the wall i built
around my broken
wounded heart
i see your
favorite book
i hear your favorite
band
i see visions of you
every where i look
and he reminds me of you
the things he does
the way he talks
and i hate him
i hate him
and i think
i might
hate
you
too
for leaving me
with your touch
leaving the taste of you
on my tongue
your hot kisses
burned into my lips
and i hate you
for leaving me
with the smell of you
cinnamon and icebergs
everywhere i go
everywhere i go
and i hate walking in there
the place you used to work
the people that you knew
staring at me
knowing what you did
how you left me
with only your touch
your smell
your taste
your hair
and all
ALL
of your
worldly possessions
now mine
i hate the smell
of cinnamon & ice bergs
i hate the smell
of you.
.
11/14/02
©Patti Keno
2002 Patti Keno Poetry the cinnamon boy writing
Invisible No More 