Invisible No More

my love affair with words

in my dreams

When morning came

without you

once again

I did not cry

I did not scream

or beg

I accepted it

I know

I will never

meet you

and try as

I might

I know

I can never

hold you in

my arms

and wake

with you

still beside me

try as I might

I cannot

pull you

through

the velvet curtain

of the dreaming

and I know

I should be

contented

just to see

you in

my dreams

 

9/8/00

©Patti Keno

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last month

last month never happened

i need to go back and fix it

i missed a whole month while sleeping

the days just seemed to slip away

they broke against the shore

and i never saw them again

last month crashed and sank into the ocean

just like my heart

it was left behind

and now i’ll never know

and nothing will ever show

all that i have missed

in that one missing month

last month has disappeared again

just like they always do

until i’m back here again

wondering what i did last month

.

.

9/5/01

©Patti Keno

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Swing

If only I could close

my eyes

and see your face

again

If only I could call

your name

and feel your touch

once more

If only I could have

 known then

how much I would

miss you

how much I would

ache for you

Ache for the sound

of your voice

forever gone

If only I could

remember your touch

If only I could

remember anything

past the beginning

and before the end

If only I could

 remember

anything at all

If only I could

remember

you

and love you

then

like I love you

now

.

.

8/1/00

©Patti Keno

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your arms

I remember the nights

we spent awake

you held me in your arms

I remember thinking

“this is all I ever wanted”

“this is all I could have hoped for”

I remember snuggling deep

within your warmth

I remember the emptiness I felt

when you left

and I realize now

it’s your arms I miss the most

your strength and protection

your warmth

I don’t miss you

anymore

I only miss what we knew

those beautiful nights

we spent alone

holding each other

I miss your arms

I miss you holding me,

but I no longer miss you.

.

.

                                                                                    8/23/00

©Patti Keno

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silently disappear

my love

how can you destroy

me so?

how can you let me

go?

and leave me here

in silence

how can you decide

to never speak

again

not a whim

not a whisper

of the way your

heart had turned

and I am left

here in silence

lying to myself

forcing myself to

believe that

it doesn’t hurt me

that it doesn’t make

me cry

you were my everything

and you never said goodbye

how could you destroy

me so?

.

.

                                    09/25/02

                      ©Patti Keno

 

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Last Year’s Night

Oh the sweet caress
of last year’s dress
as it swirls and falls around my hips
a voice and a note
and we’re dancing again
just like last year
just like back then
one hand on my hip
and the other pressed to my neck
pulling me in
pulling me in
to feel last year’s kiss once more
Oh the sweet caress
of last years dress
as we live this day out once more
the satin sweet swirl
as you spin me around
spinning and spinning
until we fall to the ground
laughing and laughing
we lay
side by side
on last year’s soil
on last year’s earth
quietly you whisper
last year’s promises in my ear
quietly you whisper
words of forever love
“I’ll never leave you again”
you whisper
“never leave me again”
my response
and we twirl and we swirl
together as one
once more on last year’s night
Oh the sweet caress
of last year’s dress
as it’s satin falls around my hips
you caress me once more and kiss my lips
“See you next year.” you say
and wave a little goodbye
“next year” I whisper
in last year’s reply
“next year” I repeat
as you disappear
into last year’s morning light
.

.
11/2/01

©Patti Keno

If you’re looking for a book to read check out my novels….

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=patti+keno&sprefix=Patti+Keno%2Caps%2C163

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into the arms of madness

this

this grinning madness

sits before me

and eggs me into complacency

this grinning madness

waits

patient and impatient

all at once

It angers me

with it’s laughter

with it’s sullen glares

and sudden movements

this grinning madness

waits to take me in it’s arms

into the arms of madness

all around me i hear noises

people pushing me closer

forcing me towards that goal

that grinning golem

forgotten idol, left for dead

this grinning madness

laughs

and

laughs

and

laughs

as i stumble

and fall into it’s

open arms

forever lost

in this grinning madness

.

9/18/01

©Patti Keno

.

If you’re looking for a book to read check out my novels….

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=patti+keno&sprefix=Patti+Keno%2Caps%2C163

 

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turn and run

turn your head

when I arrive

make like you

don’t see

why would you

want to see

little old me

why would you

want to

behold my face

turn away

scoff at my words

feign interest

then turn and

run

TURN

AND

RUN

I have nothing

of interest

nothing you want

to hear

I’m a broken soul

lost and afraid

no one wants

to see that

no one wants

to know

no one wants

what I’m giving

away for

free

no one

wants

ME

sinking in

to this old

familiar ache

I cry

and I wail

yet still you turn

tail

TURN

AND

RUN

I’m no good

I’m no fun

There’s nothing

to see

here

there’s no

reason to be

here

TURN

AND

RUN

It’s all they

ever do

TURN

AND

RUN
why should you

be any different

.

.

8/21/15

©Patti Keno

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ghost

I’m screaming

as loud as my

aching throat

will allow

please see me

why can’t anyone

see me

maybe I’m not

invisible

maybe I’m a

ghost

maybe I don’t

exist

maybe I’m real

maybe I am

and nobody

cares

NOBODY

CARES!

No one wants to touch me

who would dare

to try and touch

the girl who is not there

I don’t exist

I am not real

I am not here

If I was

you’d see me

If I was

I wouldn’t

be

so alone

I wouldn’t

be so

utterly

alone

and

lost

left behind

lost

and

left

behind

I am

a

 ghost

how else

would

you

explain

my words

that fall

constantly

on

deaf

ears

I don’t

exist

I don’t

.

.

8/21/15

                          ©Patti Keno

 

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Normal

 

those words

and the way  you

say them

make me feel

stupid and useless

and I hate it

I’m not like

everyone

else

so quit trying

to change

me

I will never

fit in

to your cookie

cutter

expectations

so why do you

even try

those words

and the way

you say

them

cut me in two

leaving me bleeding

and restless

I will never be

normal

so quit trying

to make

me

so

.

those words

and the way

in which you

say them

leave me aching

and breaking

down in despair

.

I am not

stupid!

I am not

weak!

I am not

useless!

.

I am

NOT

NORMAL

and I

will

never

be

                                                            4/10/15

                                                              ©Patti Keno

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