ache | Invisible No More

only

by pattikeno

leave me bleed

and send me quake

only how I ache

only how

ache

tear me asunder

and bring on the rain

only how I ache

only how

ache

twitch me sorrow

and ignite my flame

only how I ache

only how

ache

only

how

ache

how

only

01/23/15

©Patti Keno

2015 Patti Keno Poetry

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about

by pattikeno

It’s tooth and bone

and grinding nails

and lollipops

and puppy dog tails

It’s blood and blades

and scratches and

cuts

It’s tooth and nail

and tearing flesh;

rending flesh

it’s all about the past

the present

and the

future

that was never

meant

to be

It’s all about tooth and bone

and grinding nails

It’s all about

ME!

5/21/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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swallow me

by pattikeno

breaking into my silence

you steal away my soul

leaving me lonely and afraid

and out of control

aching I break

and fold in on myself

all alone I sink to

the floor

and still I ache

for more

kill me with your

words

swallow me with

your soul

swallow me whole

swallow

whole

03/28/03

©Patti Keno

to: the caterpillar boy

2003 Patti Keno Poetry the caterpillar boy

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my words

by pattikeno

my words

I am the angry

PoEt

with fire in

her eyes

I am the silent

girl

blue hair

blowing madly

in the wind

I stand before

you ready to

attack

I am the angry

pOeT

and I am never

coming back

I am the silent girl

who claims

she’s from Detroit

and worked here

for four years

I am the angry

PoeT

who lies and lies

and lies

I am the angry

pOEt

and MY WORDS

WILL NEVER
DIE

01/12/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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please don’t

by pattikeno

don’t

please don’t

I need this to

go my way

don’t ruin it

not now

I will not cry

stop

please stop

this isn’t how

this is supposed

to go

can’t you see

it’s killing me

I will not cry

wait

please wait

I didn’t mean

to make you

sometimes I’m

so me

I scare people

I WILL NOT CRY

but I

can’t

help

myself

and

cry

and

cry

10/25/15

©Patti Keno

2015 New Patti Keno Poetry

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Success is not an option

by pattikeno

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

watch me pound my

head against this

wall

the wall that

separates me

the wall that

shelters me

from the

real

from the

world

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

this fuse is

too wet to burn

properly

this heart is too

broken

this mind

too shattered

I can’t do this

I sabotage

myself every time

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

watch me

bleed

watch me break

and fall apart

I can’t do this

just watch me glow

watch me spark

and fizzle out

10/25/15

©Patti Keno

2015 New Patti Keno Poetry

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i dreamt; i saw
i came; i went
i bled; i cried
i jumped; i screamed
i lived; i died
i loved; i cared
i ran; i played
i gave; i shared
i left; i went
i ripped; i tore
i killed; i mended
.
still it wasn’t enough
still i want more
.
i ran; i skipped
i drove; i rode
i flew; i walked
i ate; i drank
i tasted; i felt
i saw; i heard
I FELT
i sang; i ached
I laughed; i cried
.
but it wasn’t enough
I STILL WANT MORE
one more day and it’s over
I used to tell myself that
one more day and I’ll be gone
but i never could do it
I thought I could
.
i thought; i analyzed
i mixed; i mingled
i flirted; i teased
i floated; i breezed
i tantalized; i broke
i cut; i cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
I cried
icried
icry
icry
icry
cry cry
cry
.
but it’s never enough
i can’t do enough
i can’t see enough
i can’t feel enough
i can’t want enough
i can’t hear enough
i can’t taste enough
i can’t smell enough
i can’t go now
I can’t
I’m not finished yet
.
I’ve lived and loved
for a quarter of a century
and still it isn’t enough
I WANT MORE
I can’t go now
I can’t
.
.
11/26/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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empty hollow ache

by pattikeno

empty hollow ache

washes over me again

empty hollow ache

fills me with dread again

I know where this leads

I know where this will take me

empty hollow ache

How much more of this can i take

empty hollow ache

how much more before i break

I try to push this away

I try to forget it all

empty hollow ache

mocking me

hounding me

taunting me

empty hollow ache

I know where this will lead me

I know which road to take

and so i go

for one more

sugar heartache

empty hollow ache

finally disappears

as i close my eyes

empty hollow ache

no more

until the morning

when i wake

I know where this leads me

I know where this takes me

empty hollow ache

5/9/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry the nocturnal boy

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waiting

by pattikeno

it’s me again

I’m here waiting

once again

for all the things

that I lack

and all the things

that I can never

get back

waiting

like I always do

waiting

for you

or him or her

or she or he

or it or this or that

how can I stand

to wait this long

and what made me think

that every thing

will eventually fall in my lap

does the world revolve around me

and me alone?

then why and I still here

waiting

like I always do

what made me think

that everything I desire

will fall into my lap

what made me think

that anything and everything

would come here to me as I wait

oh yeah:

“Good things come to those who wait.”

and so I wait

waiting still

like I always do

and I watch my dreams

sail further away

while I wait

for those good things

to come to me

4/24/01

©Patti Keno

2001 Patti Keno Poetry

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kick out the gloom

by pattikeno

lost in the crowd

she moves on in silence

wondering who will see her

wondering who has the ability

to see the girl invisible to all

longing to be there

longing to be loved

she knows that she was never meant to be

maybe she was supposed to die

maybe no one will ever see her

maybe no one even cares

she opens her mouth and screams

and screams and screams

screaming she stands alone

she chased them all away

except for one boy

who is disappearing

a disappearing boy

he smiles at her as she stops her screaming

she smiles back her crooked smile

and finally realizes

she was never alone

she was

NEVER

ALONE

and there they still stand

hand in hand

the disappearing boy and the invisible girl

10/18/00

©Patti Keno

to ‘the disappearing boy’ who i met in the ‘Kick Out the Gloom’ chat room and had the most wonderful and poetic email friendship with. Sadly, we lost contact a few years back, but i miss him horribly. I miss his words.