Invisible No More

my love affair with words

Amnesia

days and days
and miles and minutes
years and years
come aching back
bringing with them
sorrow
and
heartache
I try to look away
I try to forget
to let go
to separate
take me back
amnesia
take me back
I don’t want
to remember
his touch
his kiss
his smell
take me back
let me forget
him
again

.

.
pik
4/8/10

©Patti Keno

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this is how

with hand to chest

and lips to finger pressed

I cannot move I cannot rest

.

this is how I ache

this is how I break

.

with hand to hips

and tongue to swollen lips

I explore you with my fingertips

.

this is how I ache

this is how I break

.

with heart to darkness

and lips to one last kiss

I cannot stop I cannot resist

.

this is how I ache

this is how I break

.

with hand to knee

and mouth to desperate plea

I beg you not to abandon me

.

this is how I ache

this is how I break

.

with tears to eyes

and lungs to broken sighs

I am left alone without goodbyes

.

this is how I ache

this is how I break

.

.

1/22/15

pik

©Patti Keno

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~@$@~ ELEMENT 5 ~@$@~

i’m so cold

I cry

and cling

to you

needing your

warmth

wanting your

touch

longing for

your arms

around me

but you stand

before me

in ignorance

not seeing

my teeth

as they

chatter violently

i’m cold

make me warm

I beg you

looking at the

warm layers

of clothing

You are wearing

you look at

me, but

you don’t seem

to notice

my tee-shirt

and jeans

my cold

apparel

i cry

and cling

to you

needing your

warmth

wanting your

touch

longing for

your arms

around me

you look

at me

as if i’m

some kind

of child

annoying you

with questions

of life

you stand

ignorant

of me

of my

cramping muscles

of my

chattering teeth

of my

freezing bones

HOLD ME!

I Scream

but as your

arms enclose

me

I finally

realize

you’re the

one

who’s making

me cold

12/8/98

pik

©Patti Keno

1 Comment »

heat

I wait here in this
heat
so silent so
unbearable
I wait and
I retract
I recoil
I step back
you stifle me
with your eyes
speechless
i lose everything
i worked
so hard
to gain
I try to contain
to elliviate
the ache
this silence
that echoes past
my refrain
and ends well into
my chorus
I wait
I retract
I dissolve
I disappear
waiting here
for you

5.17.01
Pik

©Patti Keno

1 Comment »

and you are…

and you are moving too fast
you silence my heart
from crying out
and you are moving too hard
I can’t feel my feet
the night is so cold
and you are breaking me down
bending me in two
swallowing my heart
and you are taking it all away
leaving me with nothing
I’m not ready to be alone
and you are leaving me again
the same as before
just like everyone
just like
everyone
and you are leaving without
a single word
you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone
and you are gone

and
you
are
gone

pik
2/13/03

©Patti Keno

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On turning 28

taking breaths to stop the way you hurt me
to stop the way you make me cry
I dive in with reckless abandon
this isn’t right…this isn’t right
leave me floating in this sea
wasting away, just wasting away
and everything is beautiful
everything is new
but nothing penetrates me
as i stare zombie-like
into the horizon
longing for something new
something other than this
other than this fake life
it’s not real
none of this is real
broken lips
and burning eyes
and this pain that is gutting me
rending me in two
nothing is beautiful
and nothing is new
should i force your hand
and make you stay
or watch in silence
as you walk away
watch in silence
broken and strewn
tossed apart from me
28 years and you’re gone
28 years and look at me
still the same
still that little girl
led forth by crows
striving to stay alive
when I’m cast upon these coals
weathered and broken
but somehow still the same
looking backwards always
longing for something from then
anything that stayed the same
but nothing ever stays the same
everything changes
nothing ever stays
break my heart
this girl inside a woman
there’s nothing left in me that’s pure
nothing left in me but pain
and silence and longing again.
how did i last this long
how can i last any longer
how can i stay
when nothing EVER changes
and nothing EVER stays the same

 

3/8/04

 ©Patti Keno

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