The hollow of his hands
The smoothness of his nails
The soft flesh above his eyes
His strong arms around me
His texture; It’s all so real
And I miss it
I miss all of this
As I sit and contemplate
the emptiness of my own arms
I long to feel him there
I long to see him; to touch his hair
I lived my whole life with
This longing for the man with no face
I’ve felt my head against his chest
I’ve felt his finger on my lips and in my mouth
I’ve stared into his ocean-deep eyes
But never once saw his face
Every morning I wake more exhausted
Then when I fell asleep
I’ve spend the entire night
Trying to convince him to come to me
Begging… pleading…
Longing for him to follow me as I slip through
The Dreaming and wake alone once more.
I cry each morning, holding myself
Soon there will be nothing left
Of me to hold on too
Soon there will be nothing left of me.
He told me last night…
“you won’t be alone forever.”
But this waiting is tearing me apart inside
This raw nerve that rips open anew
Each time I see another couple
Together
Another couple in love.
It tears me apart inside that I cannot be
That I cannot be in love
I can only be alone.
4/2/01
©Patti Keno
Invisible No More 