Invisible No More

my love affair with words

turn and run

turn your head

when I arrive

make like you

don’t see

why would you

want to see

little old me

why would you

want to

behold my face

turn away

scoff at my words

feign interest

then turn and

run

TURN

AND

RUN

I have nothing

of interest

nothing you want

to hear

I’m a broken soul

lost and afraid

no one wants

to see that

no one wants

to know

no one wants

what I’m giving

away for

free

no one

wants

ME

sinking in

to this old

familiar ache

I cry

and I wail

yet still you turn

tail

TURN

AND

RUN

I’m no good

I’m no fun

There’s nothing

to see

here

there’s no

reason to be

here

TURN

AND

RUN

It’s all they

ever do

TURN

AND

RUN
why should you

be any different

.

.

8/21/15

©Patti Keno

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ghost

I’m screaming

as loud as my

aching throat

will allow

please see me

why can’t anyone

see me

maybe I’m not

invisible

maybe I’m a

ghost

maybe I don’t

exist

maybe I’m real

maybe I am

and nobody

cares

NOBODY

CARES!

No one wants to touch me

who would dare

to try and touch

the girl who is not there

I don’t exist

I am not real

I am not here

If I was

you’d see me

If I was

I wouldn’t

be

so alone

I wouldn’t

be so

utterly

alone

and

lost

left behind

lost

and

left

behind

I am

a

 ghost

how else

would

you

explain

my words

that fall

constantly

on

deaf

ears

I don’t

exist

I don’t

.

.

8/21/15

                          ©Patti Keno

 

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funny

It’s funny how these

words flow so

freely from

my pen

and write the things

I long to say

and write the things

I didn’t know

I wanted

to say

They break free

these feelings boiling

deep down inside of me

deep down

where I shove all

my pain

where I shove all

my rage

all my loneliness

all my desire

it bubbles up in

tiny poems

that spread across

the page

that fill notebooks

upon notebooks

it’s funny how these

words flow

so freely

from

my pen

when my words

get stuck in
my throat

when I try

to speak

and choke

me til

I bleed

it’s funny

how I can write

the words

that I  can

 never

 say

.

                                                                                                                             8/21/15

©Patti Keno

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Normal

 

those words

and the way  you

say them

make me feel

stupid and useless

and I hate it

I’m not like

everyone

else

so quit trying

to change

me

I will never

fit in

to your cookie

cutter

expectations

so why do you

even try

those words

and the way

you say

them

cut me in two

leaving me bleeding

and restless

I will never be

normal

so quit trying

to make

me

so

.

those words

and the way

in which you

say them

leave me aching

and breaking

down in despair

.

I am not

stupid!

I am not

weak!

I am not

useless!

.

I am

NOT

NORMAL

and I

will

never

be

                                                            4/10/15

                                                              ©Patti Keno

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here and now

there was nothing left here
the well had long since dried
the words were all scattered
like feathers in the wind
scattered only to be collected again
there was nothing left inside of me
until you entered in
i had given up on everything
and i sat, just waiting to die
but now here i am outside
in the thick of it again
laughing, as i slip into
yet another new skin
moving into the distance
as the shell begins to harden
the outer layer crusting over
like a scab just beginning to heal
you gave me new life
a reason to begin
you helped me pick up the pieces
and lay them down again
with your magnetic presence
your omnipotent lust
you leapt ahead of me
leaving me behind in a trail of dust
surprisingly i followed you
and leapt off into the unknown
there is no future
there is no past
only Right here
Right now
everything else
means nothing
it’s only the here
and
its only the now

that matter anyway

 .

5/02/02
©Patti Keno

for: the cinnamon boy

 

1 Comment »

control

Ah! to crumble me

to break me down in pieces

as I stand before you

begging for freedom

what joy can be found

in watching me fall

Ah! to shatter me

to shard me into pieces

and watch in pure joy

as I glitter to the floor

in front of you

what rush can be found

in watching me

writhe on the ground

at your feet

what joy

what utter joy

can be derived

from crushing me

with your look

you laugh as you watch me

flinch away from your hand

as you raise it

to touch your face

Ah! to destroy me

to completely disintegrate me

as I stand before you

begging for your love

your approval

what pleasure can be found there

what power can be derived

from making me fall

from watching me fall

down to worship at your feet

Ah! to bleed me

to bleed me completely dry

 –

 –

I hate the control you have over me

12/06/01

pik

©Patti Keno

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