by pattikeno
turn your head
when I arrive
make like you
don’t see
why would you
want to see
little old me
why would you
want to
behold my face
turn away
scoff at my words
feign interest
then turn and
run
TURN
AND
RUN
I have nothing
of interest
nothing you want
to hear
I’m a broken soul
lost and afraid
no one wants
to see that
no one wants
to know
no one wants
what I’m giving
away for
free
no one
wants
ME
sinking in
to this old
familiar ache
I cry
and I wail
yet still you turn
tail
TURN
AND
RUN
I’m no good
I’m no fun
There’s nothing
to see
here
there’s no
reason to be
here
TURN
AND
RUN
It’s all they
ever do
TURN
AND
RUN
why should you
be any different
.
.
8/21/15
©Patti Keno
2015 New Patti Keno Poetry writing
by pattikeno
I’m screaming
as loud as my
aching throat
will allow
please see me
why can’t anyone
see me
maybe I’m not
invisible
maybe I’m a
ghost
maybe I don’t
exist
maybe I’m real
maybe I am
and nobody
cares
NOBODY
CARES!
No one wants to touch me
who would dare
to try and touch
the girl who is not there
I don’t exist
I am not real
I am not here
If I was
you’d see me
If I was
I wouldn’t
be
so alone
I wouldn’t
be so
utterly
alone
and
lost
left behind
lost
and
left
behind
I am
a
ghost
how else
would
you
explain
my words
that fall
constantly
on
deaf
ears
I don’t
exist
I don’t
.
.
8/21/15
©Patti Keno
2015 New Patti Keno Poetry writing
by pattikeno
It’s funny how these
words flow so
freely from
my pen
and write the things
I long to say
and write the things
I didn’t know
I wanted
to say
They break free
these feelings boiling
deep down inside of me
deep down
where I shove all
my pain
where I shove all
my rage
all my loneliness
all my desire
it bubbles up in
tiny poems
that spread across
the page
that fill notebooks
upon notebooks
it’s funny how these
words flow
so freely
from
my pen
when my words
get stuck in
my throat
when I try
to speak
and choke
me til
I bleed
it’s funny
how I can write
the words
that I can
never
say
.
8/21/15
©Patti Keno
2015 New Patti Keno Poetry writing
by pattikeno
those words
and the way you
say them
make me feel
stupid and useless
and I hate it
I’m not like
everyone
else
so quit trying
to change
me
I will never
fit in
to your cookie
cutter
expectations
so why do you
even try
those words
and the way
you say
them
cut me in two
leaving me bleeding
and restless
I will never be
normal
so quit trying
to make
me
so
.
those words
and the way
in which you
say them
leave me aching
and breaking
down in despair
.
I am not
stupid!
I am not
weak!
I am not
useless!
.
I am
NOT
NORMAL
and I
will
never
be
4/10/15
©Patti Keno
2015 New Patti Keno Poetry
by pattikeno
there was nothing left here
the well had long since dried
the words were all scattered
like feathers in the wind
scattered only to be collected again
there was nothing left inside of me
until you entered in
i had given up on everything
and i sat, just waiting to die
but now here i am outside
in the thick of it again
laughing, as i slip into
yet another new skin
moving into the distance
as the shell begins to harden
the outer layer crusting over
like a scab just beginning to heal
you gave me new life
a reason to begin
you helped me pick up the pieces
and lay them down again
with your magnetic presence
your omnipotent lust
you leapt ahead of me
leaving me behind in a trail of dust
surprisingly i followed you
and leapt off into the unknown
there is no future
there is no past
only Right here
Right now
everything else
means nothing
it’s only the here
and
its only the now
that matter anyway
.
5/02/02
©Patti Keno
for: the cinnamon boy
2002 Poetry the cinnamon boy
by pattikeno
Ah! to crumble me
to break me down in pieces
as I stand before you
begging for freedom
what joy can be found
in watching me fall
–
Ah! to shatter me
to shard me into pieces
and watch in pure joy
as I glitter to the floor
in front of you
what rush can be found
in watching me
writhe on the ground
at your feet
–
what joy
what utter joy
can be derived
from crushing me
with your look
you laugh as you watch me
flinch away from your hand
as you raise it
to touch your face
–
Ah! to destroy me
to completely disintegrate me
as I stand before you
begging for your love
your approval
–
what pleasure can be found there
what power can be derived
from making me fall
from watching me fall
down to worship at your feet
–
Ah! to bleed me
to bleed me completely dry
–
–
–
I hate the control you have over me
12/06/01
pik
©Patti Keno
2001 Poetry