Invisible No More

Will you be my valentine?

by pattikeno

if I lay down my head

and close my eyes

maybe I won’t have to do this

maybe I won’t have to go through with it

it’s so funny

so ridiculously funny

that I cry and cry because I don’t have love

but then when the opportunity presents itself

I want to run away from it

and all I want to do right now

is cry

and cry

I’m so nervous

I’m so scared

I’m so giddy

what’s gonna happen?

who knows?

what if he never shows?

what if I don’t?

I can’t breathe anymore

my throat is closing up

it’s ok

relax

you’ve made it this far

don’t turn back

this may be it

you’ll never know until you try

02/14/02

©Patti Keno

To: the cinnamon boy

2002 Poetry the cinnamon boy

Leave a comment »

So for the past couple months i have been working on getting my novel ready to self-publish. I’m excited to tell you that though not quite ready yet, it will be sometime soon. Hopefully before the end of February. YAY!!!! It’s called A Murder of One. I wrote it 20 years ago and have been perfecting it ***cough***procrastinating***cough*** ever since. SO yeah. I’ll keep you updated. I’m so excited!!! 🙂

1995 1996 2015 book New writing

2 Comments »

Flowers

by pattikeno

Flowers on the floor

Flowers on the wall

Flowers fill my life

But I love them all

Flowers up and flowers down

Flowers all around

They’re all so pretty and never dull

Because they’re all beautiful

Tulips, daffodils and tiger lilies

I know it sounds silly

But they are all so pretty!

Carnations, Roses and Mums

I know it sounds dumb

But flowers are so beautiful

In all their ways

1986

©Patti Keno

I wrote this poem when i was 10 years old, back when i thought all poems had to rhyme. It’s not my first poem, but it’s one of my firsts. I remember when i wrote it I was inspired by my wall paper. check out the picture it was very 70s. The picture was taken before i started writing poetry though. ( i think that is when i was writing plays for my stuffed animals to perform. I wish i had some of those, but i think they are all lost.)

1986 Baby Me Poetry

4 Comments »

Clown Shoes

by pattikeno

These clown shoes

keep tripping me

Can I take them off now?

I can’t stand to be

so clumsy

These clown shoes

keep tripping

Let me take them

off

I’m sick of

being your

stooge

I’m sick of

these shoes

too big for me to

ever fill

Let me take them

off

I can’t

stand

tripping like

this

10-26-95

©Patti Keno

1995

3 Comments »

Sideshow

by pattikeno

I belong in a circus, in the sideshow

“Step right up! See the blue haired girl! Silent Patti from Detroit!

She never speaks! The only one in existence!”

I belong in there, not out here with you

The shiest girl with the hottest man

It doesn’t seem right. It doesn’t seem fair.

I belong in the freak show, standing next

to the two-headed goat

“Step right up! See the purple haired girl! Silent Patti from Detroit!

She never speaks! The only one in existence!”

That’s how I feel

I shouldn’t be here with you

I shouldn’t be anywhere, but locked away

in a cage at the sideshow

at the freak show

Where only the creeps want to hit on me

I belong in there

because that’s where I belong

“Step right up! See the green haired girl! Silent Patti from Detroit!

She never speaks! The only one in existence!”

8/17/00

©Patti Keno

2000 Poetry

Leave a comment »

the longing hand

by pattikeno

the longing hand

reaches out

and closes around

my heart

the longing hand

searches me out

as I hide within

the crowd

pretending to be

normal

pretending to be

I can never

out run it

I can never

hide from it

the longing hand

will always

find me

the longing hand

will always be

closing around

my desperate

heart

I have resigned

myself to

accept my

fate

I’ve begun

to crave

it’s touch

the longing hand

so painful

the longing had

so harsh

so cruel

I crave the

restlessness

I crave the

sleepless nights

I long for the

longing hand

as it longs for

I long for

the longing hand

closing around

my heart

for it is only

in that moment

in that familiar

grasp

that I truly

feel alive

8/30/00

©Patti Keno

2000 Poetry the longing hand

1 Comment »

that which…

by pattikeno

that which…

that which is empty and

clean and dry

that which…

that which is aching

inside of me

that which

I tried to see that which

lies within

but it’s too expensive to

see

that which…

that which is hidden

inside of me

remains hidden

forever

that which…

that which I hold so

dear is lost

that which…

that which forever

tears me apart inside

remains hidden

that which

10-25-95

©Patti Keno

1995 Poetry the longing hand

Leave a comment »

Fin

by pattikeno

i miss you

my disappearing

boy

my mysterious

stranger

the other

half

to my

whole

i miss your

words

their shimmering

silence

leaves a gaping

wound

i ache for you

even though

we never

met

my disappearing

boy

why did you

disappear?

1/3/15

©Patti Keno

To:SMM

2015 New Poetry the disappearing boy

Leave a comment »

Geppeddo

by pattikeno

Swirling around me
they giggle and point
and laugh at my hair
as i am trapped
in my cage
behind all the faces
all the porcelain eyes
that seem to protect me
but expose me at the same
time
.
they move around my cage
threatening me
with their questions
their longing stares
no no
not me
I’m not the puppet master
no no
not me
I don’t control the strings
I’m just Pinnochio
a wooden boy
waiting to be real
hoping to be real
one day
.
I sit in my cage
and hope you don’t see
me
hidden behind my fears
hidden behind
these eyes
that protect me
but scare me all at once
.

2001 Poetry

Leave a comment »

IV tube

by pattikeno

i’m still draining
and i bled for so long
but i think it’s finally gone
I think it’s finally done now
so just strap me up
and spread my legs
and tear out all my insides
more tests
more poking and prodding
only to find
there is nothing wrong
with me
more doctors with there
hands on my breasts
molesting
massaging
another deep tissue massage
another enema
filling me with barium
another ultrasound
to look at my useless ovaries
another radiation test
just set this building on fire
test me for drugs
i don’t take them
test me for aids
i might have it
stick in your needles
and take away my blood
there’s no way i will need it now
cause every hope i ever had
is wasted
every moment of my life
standing
naked
in front of men & women
in black gowns
holding me down
sticking there useless
probes under my skin
give me more pills
more medicines
you’ll never find the cause
you’ll never be able to stop
these symptoms
this pain in my stomach
this 20 day bleeding
why my knees always hurt
the headaches that plague me
like i’m being bludgeoned to death
these knives
this skin
get it out
get it out
this parasite
underneath my skin
it’s just my soul
trying to fit in.
trying to fit into
a body that was never
meant for me.