Poetry | Invisible No More

useless hands

by pattikeno

these useless hands have left me
and i ache for their return
these useless hands have betrayed me

they forgot how to feel
they forgot how to move
they forgot how to hold on to something

they used to be strong hands
but now i look and see
only pain staring back at me

these useless hands
cut them off
I’m better without them
blundering in my way

these useless hands have stranded me
in a world where i cannot open things
in a world where i can no longer write
the words hide from me now
or spill out in gibberish across the page

these hands were once my livelihood
and they have left me

cold and tingling numbness
no feeling
no writing
no words

these useless hands
have left me with nothing
and i want it all back

cut them open
rip out this useless cord
rip out their uselessness
so i can live again.

cut them off
cut off these precious hands of mine
I’ve no use for them anyway

9/10/03
pik

©Patti Keno

2003 Poetry

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reduce me

by pattikeno

you take me and reduce me with your eyes
you diminish my soul with one single look
one glance from you and my life is over
my life is meaningless

you make me feel that i am drowning
in the looks that you give to me
and i am reduced to nothing
and life is meaningless

and now you’re gone and i am alone
and there’s nothing left to live for
and without you i am nothing
i am reduced to nothing
and life is meaningless

with you i am reduced
without you i am reduced
you reduce me
and my life is meaningless
with you
and my life is meaningless
without you

you reduce me

10/10/02

©Patti Keno

2002 Poetry the cinnamon boy

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This desperate desire
for something more
than what is
for something more then what was
taking your hand
and grasping that chunk of hair
that you cut
thinking of all the days it knew
you rub your head
so short now
your head so light
should be easier to think
but then the headache sets in
and you lose your concentration
you lose the silence you
tried to commit to memory
and the voices close in
and the memories rise
to swallow you
in a volcano of emotion
leaving behind nothing
but ash
nothing but a hollow hole
where you once stood
Vesuvius all over again
volcanic eruptions swallow you
in their hot molten lava flow
and you are burnt
nothing but ashes
nothing but ashes and hair

5.29.1

©Patti Keno

2001 Poetry the longing hand

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Jim W.

by pattikeno

It’s been so long since I’ve thought of you

(Am I forgetting?)

It’s been so long since I said your name aloud

(Do I still know it?)

It’s been so long since I laughed with you

(Am I losing it?)

It’s been so long since I cried

(Am I growing up?)

It’s been so long since I heard your voice

(Do I hear it now?)

Only echoes from the past

If you are here you are silent

If you are here you are loved

I love you

forever

7-17-93

©Patti Keno

Poetry

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I cannot let him go

by pattikeno

I feel as though he is slipping away

I cannot let him go

Everyday his memory seems to fade

I must remember

I cannot let his memory leave

I cannot let him go

It seems as though he will wink

out like a candle

Never to be remembered

I cannot let him go

7-6-93

©Patti Keno

Dedicated in loving memory of Jim W. Known only as Uncle Jimmy to me. In hopes that he will never be forgotten. James Joseph Wutka 1-13-57–11-30-89

1993 Poetry

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untitled 080511

by pattikeno

swallowing back my tears
I search for you
I reach for you
I ache for you
search – reach – ache
I scream for you
whimper want or whisper stay
you are gone
and I miss you
I miss your words
your beauty
your love
one song is all I have
one song
to hear your voice
one photo
to see your face
every night I am the detective
trying to put together
the puzzle
of you

8/5/11

Poetry the disappearing boy

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this mirror lies

by pattikeno

this person

in the mirror

it is not me

I am not she

i am not her

I can’t be

i don’t feel

grown up

i’m just a

child

playing make

believe

it’s not me

in there

I’m not that

girl

with tiny eyes

and plain brown

hair

those wrinkles

they aren’t

mine

they can’t be

because I am

not her

and she

is not

12/10/14

pik

©Patti Keno

New Poetry

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back to sad

by pattikeno

it’s all going back to sad

my knees are made of glass

I cannot bow before you

I cannot genuflect

for fear that they will shatter

it’s all going back to sad

my head is full of sand

a dead weight hanging there

nothing Inside

too numb to care

too scared to watch you die

instead I stay so far away

and hope you feel my love

it’s all going back to sad

and nothing can stop it

I’m losing my ignorant high

spending my days hidden away

in the room with unlocked doors

and spirits of it’s own

my knees are made of glass

and I cannot run from you

I cannot run from this

in fear that they will shatter

my knees are made of glass today

my knees are made

of glass

it’s all going back to sad

08/29/01

pik

Poetry

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into the flesh

by pattikeno

i can feel you
burning your name
into the flesh
of my arm
even though you
do not know me
nor can you see me
as i stand watching you
i burn my name
into the flesh of
your arm
can you feel it?
burning; pulsating there
against your skin
and deep into the
hollow of your elbow
i can feel it
i can almost
read your name
i can almost feel you
there
holding me
as i cry out in pain
watching you as you
burn your name
into my flesh
into the tender flesh
of my arm