Invisible No More

my love affair with words

Fin

i miss you

my disappearing

boy

my mysterious

stranger

the other

half

to my

whole

i miss your

words

their shimmering

silence

leaves a gaping

wound

i ache for you

even though

we never

met

my disappearing

boy

why did you

disappear?

.

1/3/15

©Patti Keno

To:SMM

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Geppeddo

Swirling around me
they giggle and point
and laugh at my hair
as i am trapped
in my cage
behind all the faces
all the porcelain eyes
that seem to protect me
but expose me at the same
time
.
they move around my cage
threatening me
with their questions
their longing stares
no no
not me
I’m not the puppet master
no no
not me
I don’t control the strings
I’m just Pinnochio
a wooden boy
waiting to be real
hoping to be real
one day
.
I sit in my cage
and hope you don’t see
me
hidden behind my fears
hidden behind
these eyes
that protect me
but scare me all at once
.

.

11/9/01
©Patti Keno

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IV tube

i’m still draining
and i bled for so long
but i think it’s finally gone
I think it’s finally done now
so just strap me up
and spread my legs
and tear out all my insides
more tests
more poking and prodding
only to find
there is nothing wrong
with me
more doctors with there
hands on my breasts
molesting
massaging
another deep tissue massage
another enema
filling me with barium
another ultrasound
to look at my useless ovaries
another radiation test
just set this building on fire
test me for drugs
i don’t take them
test me for aids
i might have it
stick in your needles
and take away my blood
there’s no way i will need it now
cause every hope i ever had
is wasted
every moment of my life
standing
naked
in front of men & women
in black gowns
holding me down
sticking there useless
probes under my skin
give me more pills
more medicines
you’ll never find the cause
you’ll never be able to stop
these symptoms
this pain in my stomach
this 20 day bleeding
why my knees always hurt
the headaches that plague me
like i’m being bludgeoned to death
these knives
this skin
get it out
get it out
this parasite
underneath my skin
it’s just my soul
trying to fit in.
trying to fit into
a body that was never
meant for me.

.

11/21/02
pik

©Patti Keno

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open, commanding

open, commanding

taking flight

yet never landing

I struggle with all my might

still i circle

never landing

.

open, commanding

the voices echo

strong and repremanding

still i circle

out of control

never landing

my crazy over-worked

soul

.

open commanding

it is gone

 .

 .

2/7/96

©Patti Keno

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