falling into this despair again
and i cling to you
my last leg of hope
to catch me when i fall
I can feel the fabric of you
beneath my fists
and it’s beginning to crack
to split open and take on
a new facade
take on a new facade
this is how i end
falling
into the ocean into the sea
into the sky into the stars
this is how i end
Odd, I never thought
it could be this wonderful
this grand
falling
back into
the ocean of despair
the ocean that leaves me
choking and drowning
coughing and laughing
Odd, Here I am falling
and i can only think of you
and the fabric of your reality
so different then mine
and all the truths that you hold
most dear
begin to disintegrate
as you let me slip away
as you let me fall
Odd, I thought you would care
9/20/01

 ©Patti Keno

It holds me

It suits me

It neon coats me

Listen to the waves of

darkness

crashing upon the shore

Things once taken in stride

are only causing danger

–

–

It holds me

It suits me

It neon coats me

Take upon the blood of

sadness

coursing through my veins

Moving inward;  Ever Inward

Into my dead and shattered heart

–

–

It holds me

It suits me

It neon coats me

I do not feel the fear of

cowards

Yet I am afraid all the same

I move on through Indigo dreams

And suddenly tangible Nightmares

–

–

It holds me

It suits me

It neon coats me

It is fear

                                                            8-28-94

                                                                            ©Patti Keno

It’s the fear of death that hobbles me

And breaks me in two

It’s these words RAGING inside of me

They have to come out

They have to be free

I cannot die

I CANNOT DIE

Not until I’ve purged all these words

From underneath my skin

From my stomach, my kidneys, my uterus

From the very follicles of my hair

I cannot die

I CANNOT DIE

Not until I’ve screamed them

From the rooftops

Not until I whisper them to the dead

Not until every word inside of me

Is RAGING inside of you

Crawling in through your eyes and ears

My words will infect you

My rage will infect you

I cannot die

I CANNOT DIE
until this infection has spread

So far that no one will forget my name

So far that no one will doubt why I came

I cannot die

I CANNOT DIE
not without spreading my disease

My disease of words

That is less like a gift

And more like a curse

Please don’t let me die

Don’t

Let

Me

Die

3/9/9

 ©Patti Keno

I stand alone

on the mountain top

with my obsessive

lusts

and my unerring

trusts

my aching desires

and my lust for

life that never tires

I scream my words

out into the void

I scream my very essence

into the great

below

I ache for someone

to hear me

and strain to hear

their reply

but all that returns

are the words

I’ve spoken

they echo back

and circle around

my head

into my mind

and whisper

all the lies

I have spoken

all the promises

I have broken

I scream my words

into the great

beyond

in hopes that they

might fly away

from me

but they never

never

fly

away

from

me

                                                3/30/00

                          ©Patti Keno