Invisible No More

my love affair with words

and

eyes are burning

from the endless

nights

laying awake

 –

and waiting

I am filled

with desire

for something

unknown

 –

and unwanted

 –

I ache

alone

filled with

remorse

and regret

I long and

I long

with this

intense desire

and wanton lust

 –

I long for

something

anything

that can put out

this

fire

but I never

know what

it is I ache

for

 –

 –

                                                3/6/00

pik

©Patti Keno

1 Comment »

control

Ah! to crumble me

to break me down in pieces

as I stand before you

begging for freedom

what joy can be found

in watching me fall

Ah! to shatter me

to shard me into pieces

and watch in pure joy

as I glitter to the floor

in front of you

what rush can be found

in watching me

writhe on the ground

at your feet

what joy

what utter joy

can be derived

from crushing me

with your look

you laugh as you watch me

flinch away from your hand

as you raise it

to touch your face

Ah! to destroy me

to completely disintegrate me

as I stand before you

begging for your love

your approval

what pleasure can be found there

what power can be derived

from making me fall

from watching me fall

down to worship at your feet

Ah! to bleed me

to bleed me completely dry

 –

 –

I hate the control you have over me

12/06/01

pik

©Patti Keno

3 Comments »

Sleeping or near slumber

You lied before me

sleeping or

near slumber

breathing softly

I felt your breath

upon my face

and shivered in

delight

I stared at your

face

sleeping or

near slumber

trying to memorize

every  detail

trying to commit

to memory

a love that

would leave

as soon as

you awoke

I longed to kiss

you

place my lips

upon yours

I longed to trace

the curves

of your skin

laying in front

of me

sleeping or near

 slumber

Waiting for my kiss

Waiting for my touch

Waiting

                                                9-30-96

                                              pik

                                                  ©Patti Keno

3 Comments »

useless hands

these useless hands have left me
and i ache for their return
these useless hands have betrayed me

they forgot how to feel
they forgot how to move
they forgot how to hold on to something

they used to be strong hands
but now i look and see
only pain staring back at me

these useless  hands
cut them off
I’m better without them
blundering in my way

these useless hands have stranded me
in a world where i cannot open things
in a world where i can no longer write
the words  hide from me now
or spill out in gibberish across the page

these hands were once my livelihood
and they have left me

cold and tingling numbness
no feeling
no writing
no words

these useless hands
have left me with nothing
and i want it all back

cut them open
rip out this useless cord
rip out their uselessness
so i can live again.

cut them off
cut off these precious hands of mine
I’ve no use for them anyway

9/10/03
pik

©Patti Keno

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reduce me

you take me and reduce me with your eyes
you diminish my soul with one single look
one glance from you and my life is over
my life is meaningless

you make me feel that i am drowning
in the looks that you give to me
and i am reduced to nothing
and life is meaningless

and now you’re gone and i am alone
and there’s nothing left to live for
and without you i am nothing
i am reduced to nothing
and life is meaningless

with you i am reduced
without you i am reduced
you reduce me
and my life is meaningless
with you
and my life is meaningless
without you

you reduce me

10/10/02

©Patti Keno

2 Comments »

Hair Cut

This desperate desire
for something more
than what is
for something more then what was
taking your hand
and grasping that chunk of hair
that you cut
thinking of all the days it knew
you rub your head
so short now
your head so light
should be easier to think
but then the headache sets in
and you lose your concentration
you lose the silence you
tried to commit to memory
and the voices close in
and the memories rise
to swallow you
in a volcano of emotion
leaving behind nothing
but ash
nothing but a hollow hole
where you once stood
Vesuvius all over again
volcanic eruptions swallow you
in their hot molten lava flow
and you are burnt
nothing but ashes
nothing but ashes and hair

5.29.1

©Patti Keno

1 Comment »

Jim W.

It’s been so long since I’ve thought of you

          (Am I forgetting?)

It’s been so long since I said your name aloud

          (Do I still know it?)

It’s been so long since I laughed with you

          (Am I losing it?)

It’s been so long since I cried

          (Am I growing up?)

It’s been so long since I heard your voice

          (Do I hear it now?)

          Only echoes from the past

          If you are here you are silent

          If you are here you are loved

                             I love you

                                forever

                                                          7-17-93

                                                    ©Patti Keno

1 Comment »

I cannot let him go

I feel as though he is slipping away

I cannot let him go

Everyday his memory seems to fade

I must remember

I cannot let his memory leave

I cannot let him go

It seems as though he will wink

out like a candle

Never to be remembered

I cannot let him go

                                                          7-6-93

                                                        ©Patti Keno

 

Dedicated in loving memory of Jim W.  Known only as Uncle Jimmy to me.  In hopes that he will never be forgotten.     James Joseph Wutka  1-13-57–11-30-89

 

 

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untitled 080511

 

swallowing back my tears
I search for you
I reach for you
I ache for you
search – reach – ache
I scream for you
whimper want or whisper stay
you are gone
and I miss you
I miss your words
your beauty
your love
one song is all I have
one song
to hear your voice
one photo
to see your face
every night I am the detective
trying to put together
the puzzle
of you

8/5/11

1 Comment »

this mirror lies

this person

in the mirror

it is not me

I am not she

i am not her

I can’t be

i don’t feel

grown up

i’m just a

child

playing make

believe

it’s not me

in there

I’m not that

girl

with tiny eyes

and plain brown

hair

those wrinkles

they aren’t

mine

they can’t be

because I am

not her

and she

is not

me

 12/10/14

pik

                                                                                                             ©Patti Keno

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